A
male
age
26-29,
*aintballer4life9494
writes:Okay their is this girl. I met her in one of my classes my second day of school. She was gorgeous and fun to be around. We never really talked all that much, then we just started talking more and more and i started to like her just a little bit. Then i found out that she had a boyfriend who she had been dating for almost a year. I thought that it was going to just be one of those relationships that didnt really matter. But anyway we continued to talk, get closer and closer. Then we had District IEs which is an acting competition. So i was looking for a part and her play that she was doing just do happen to have an opening for me. So i joined her group and we started rehearsing. We rehearsed for about a week and i started to get to know her better and better, at this point i was really really starting to like her a lot. So after Districts i decided that she was the person i wanted to keep my eye on. So things went on and we got closer and closer. Then came Christmas Break. So the first night of christmas break i texted her and we were just messing around, and then i told her that i was going to start texting her like all the time as a joking kind of statement. So she said okay and we started texting a lot more. Then the next day I told her that we should hang out and she said yea that would be fun. So we made plans for wednesday. So i was all happy and excited. Then wednesday came along and i was all ready, so i called her and we made arrangements for her to come and get me and things like that. So she come to get me and i get into the car and look at her, she was beautiful, amazing, i just couldnt even describe how i felt. But the craziest thing about it is that she wasnt even dressed up, just normal clothes and makeup. It was really weird. By this time her and her boyfriend have been dating for a year. So we are in the car and she brings her boyfriend up in a lot of our conversations, like everything i say leads to her boyfriend somehow. So we go to the movies and watch the movie and laugh back fourth. Then after the movie we went to a restaurant, we ate their are and then just talked for hours, until the store closed even. It was really nice. So we get in the car and she takes me home. I say goodnight and everything and i go into my room and get ready for bed. But for some reason i cant get her out of my mind. Then i laid down and i couldnt stop thinking about her, everything i thought about was about her. I had never thought about someone that much before. So i had to write her a "love" note. I wrote a 3 page note describing how i felt towards her, and it was amazing because i didnt even have to think about what i was saying, it was just all their already, i knew exactly what i wanted to say. So i finished the note and i decided to give it to her for christmas. So a week goes by and everything is good. SO me and her have these play tickets for a sunday. So we go to the play, and the whole time i was thinking about her. It was crazy. so we go home and i give her the present. i also got her a small necklace :). Anyway i give her the present and i tell her what it is and that i dont want her to think that i am trying to get between her and her boyfriend. And she says not to worry she wont think that or anything. so i give it to her. I go inside and continue thinking about her. She is really close and in love with her boyfriend and i know that, but she flirts with me, she likes to hang out, she is happy around me, and i really do think that she might like me a little. But there is a big difference between the love she has for him and the feelings she has for me IF she even has any. So basically im wondering if i should wait for her, get to know her even better, or if im wasting my time and need to find someone else. And if at all possible, how can i win her over.
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female
reader, odeer123  +, writes (9 January 2010):
 I suppose I agree with the first two answers. I think CaringGuy has given it to you straight. It seems that the best thing for you to do right now is limit your contact with her and try and find someone new. She HAS a boyfriend, so who are you in her eyes? Definitely not the love of her life - I apologize for my bluntness. So, you could decide that you could stay friends, but that might just prolong your problem. If she felt something special towards you then she will make it apparent to you I'm sure, and if she doesn't she is obviously head over heals for her boyfriend.Also try and look at it from her perspective. Maybe she does have slight feelings for you - how do you think that makes her feel considering she has stronger feelings for her boyfriend? She may feel guilty, or even confused. She seems to want you as a friend and nothing more, but since your sending of signals it must be making her feel uncomfortable.You would do great to find someone else. CaringGuy is right when he says you NEED to get over her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): I have one question for you. Does she spend a large amount of her time with her boyfriend, or is there something keeping them apart? I only ask because you sound like a crutch to me. (A guy friend that is her emotional support, someone that cares for her, likes her, and makes her feel special when her boyfriend isn't around).
Personally, I think you might be a little lucky finding out that there are girls out there that use guys like crutches at your age. I didn't find out about half a year ago and I'm almost 24. =/ Basically I'm still in the spot where I'm unsure what I should do about the girl I fell in love with. Fortunately she told me if she wasn't dating her boyfriend she would of liked to go out with me (Which is also unfortunate because it gave me false hope especially since her and her boyfriend have been dating for about 4 years now). I've spent about a year with her, trying to make her happy, cheer her up when her boyfriend and her fight and all it has given me is heart ache. But I think I've finally started to get over her (It took a large amount of effort and I had to stop hanging around her for a while).
Now whatever you do, it's up to you but I just wanted to let you know that if you wait for her you will be bringing yourself a lot of heart ache, which could be for nothing.
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A
male
reader, OAKWOOD  +, writes (4 January 2010):
dont be the security blanket.
someone to be with when he is not with her bf.
ived been there during my younger years. and is quite hard.
im insecure asking myself when she is not with me maybe she is with her bf.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
If she truly loves her boyfriend, then no, you can't win her over. I'm afraid you need to get over her instead.
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