A
female
age
51-59,
*addleup
writes:I was married for 17 years and have been divorced for 6 years. I've dated off and on in those 6 years. it seems that people think it's ok to text other girls and men while being in a relationship. I don't think that is acceptable. my ex-husband and I never were on our phones when we got home so I find it hard to understand why it is that people find it ok to text other women and men. My present boyfriend thinks it's ok for him to text his women friends. So is that ok to do or is it just me?
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female
reader, Zonee +, writes (29 December 2010):
 I have many friends that are males. If someone I was dating told me I could not bring new men in my life I would completely understand. However I do not think I could ever give up my male friends. Understanding that it is just a friend level.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 The question is 'do you trust him?'
If you do...you won't mind him texting
If you don't trust him...the texting will drive you crazy.
I wouldnt be happy if my partner text ex girlfriends...but friends would be ok.
( I don't have a partner by the way) :-)
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (28 December 2010):
 I'm sensitive about this issue too. I think timing of the text and the nature of the "friendship" should be noted.
If it's flirty or absorbing, that can drain the special feeling out of hanging out or texting yourself. It can turn into a competition. When you are still just dating, I don't think it's an issue -unless it's happening at inappropriate times. Like during dinner.
The other yellow flag in my book: does he text the instant you leave room? Many people are addicted to texting, I'm no stranger to it myself, but I don't do it the moment my date blinks too long.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Ultimately it depends on what they are texting about. Would it be fine for him to take a phone call from them? Would it be ok for him to answer an email from them? Talk to them in person? It's all the same. As long as they aren't exchanging vows of love it's just talking to a friend in a medium that didn't exist a decade ago.
I text my friends, men and women, regularly. I won't stop that if I get into a new relationship. They are my friends and I don't like people telling me who I can and can't talk to. They were there before you, and they'll be there after you most likely. But that's just me.
Content matters more than who they are texting.
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