A
male
age
41-50,
*elp friend
writes: Hi,my wife is leaving me after 6 years of marriage and 2 children 2 and 6. She told me 5 months ago she did not love me and is now leaving in a few days, the reason is she is unhappy and wants to be alone. We are doing a deed of seperation and I'm buying her out the house but she does not get any money as I'm taking on all the debt.She is moving in to her mums with no job and is going to try and get a council house.I love her and have tried everything but she won't give me a chance I know all the mistakes and she said I have changed but it's too late Please help I love my wife and kids so so much.
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male
reader, Help friend +, writes (29 December 2010):
Help friend is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys I really have tried everything but she has no emotion I am just finding it hard to move on! But thank you for your thoughts .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): Only you know (in your heart of hearts) whether you have indeed done everything humanly possible to fix your relationship with your wife. I believe that we should not live in regret. So, if you love her and your children and want to keep your family together... then throw yourself at her mercy and LISTEN. I meant it, listen to her. Let her tell you what is bugging her. Sometimes men can become defensive, a me, me, me attitude... and completely selfish... self absorbed. So much so, in fact... that they cannot set their pride aside long enough to open their eyes and check their ego at the door.Don't hold back... or you may find yourself 5 or even 20 years from today wishing you had done just one more thing....Do it and do it now. Even if she walks away... at least you know you have done everything that was in your heart.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (29 December 2010):
Just try to be civil for the kids' sake. I know this may be the toughest part, but you mustn't play the kids against her. It'll only come back and haunt you.
It sounds like your wife is a lost cause. For whatever reason, it doesn't sound like she's coming back.
Just try to be there for your kids. Also, try to find some guy friends or even a counselor to talk to (or even a clergy member) to share your frustrations with.
Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 December 2010):
I'm afraid it does sound as if you're out of luck with your wife. I'm sorry, but what she's doing sounds very permanent. You've tried everything you can think of, and it's not worked. I don't think there is anything anyone else could suggest that would make it easier for you now.
The best thing you can do now is to be strong for your kids. They are now your number 1 priority, and it's essential you maintain contact and ensure they're okay.
Maybe your wife just needs some time, maybe she's depressed, maybe she's had enough. Whatever the reason, it's time for you to re-adjust your priorities and starts to move on.
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