A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to know if my ex is sincerely apologetic. I broke up with him a year ago, and just emailed him yesterday asking if he is at all sorry for how he treated me. He said he made a huge mistake in leaving to Florida without me for two months right after we got engaged and is sorry for that. but he said we both made mistakes. I apologized for breaking his window and tearing up notes he gave me when he locked me out. I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive, pressuring me to smoke and sleep with him and becoming angry if i didn't. i couldn't live like that so tried to break free numerous times. when i tried to leave he would sometimes take my keys or block the driveway. i finally left, but now all he's saying is he is just such a positive person who only looks at and remembers the positive things in our relationship. i tried to explain that for me the bad outweighed the good. it's not that i wanted to be negative, i just had to get out of an abusive situation. So, coincidentally, I tend to force myself to remember the bad times when i start to miss him, reminding myself that i felt miserable most of the time with him. So, once again, I just want to know if he is taking responsibility for his actions, or just trying to push them away like usually by saying he is just positive, and basically that i should do the same.
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female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (5 October 2008):
hiyahh , do you really want to let this sort of person back into your life? do you need it right now. youve managed a whole year without him but then it was you who got back in touch, this shows you obviously still have strong feelings for him but you need to ask yourself is he right for you? the way hes treated you in the past sounds unaceptable and let your willing to let it happen again?! why take that risk and let him back in? he doesnt deserve it and you need to be th bigger, stronger person and let go. He changed you as a person and in the end you both started to balance each other right it seemed an unhealthy relationship you had, yes coupples argue and fight but you two went to another level why put that back into your life. he must of had a reason for leaving and ask yourself if you hadnt got back in touch would he of? its only you who can decide what to do next but personally id let him go and move on he left you and i think it was the best thing for you although it doesnt feel like it right now.Its really going to hurt for some time but you need to do this you owe it to yourself move on not all guys are the same but learn from this in order to live a happy relatinship next time round.i hope this has helpped best of luck x :)
A
female
reader, pats girl  +, writes (5 October 2008):
he is a real jerk ok you need to forget about him if hes gonna do these things to you he obviously has a problem if hes gonna make you do things against your will.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Hi Hunny
If you see the abusive side more than you see the good side then you did the right thing, No one should force you to do anything against your will. Why was it so important to him to make you do these things, So he felt in control! You felt out of control..And when you feel this way you will fight to get out, I dont think he has realised at all what he did, Would you have broken that window and torn up those notes had he been kinder and not so over powering in the way he treated you love...He may think of the possitive but I think its because he canot see himself for what he really is or doesnt want to either way your well out from what you have said..I hope this helps a little TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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