A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was too ashamed to tell this guy I was a virgin and we ended up in bed, he fingered me (which hurt!) then put on a condom and we went to have sex. Thing is he kept losing his erection (from coming quite a lot before and being on medication for a cold) and said I was really tight but he kinda half managed to get it in, even though I was in pain but didn't say anything. He assumes I'm not a virgin and I said I was still on my period which is why I was bleeding a bit. I do regret it, but now I'm worried that a) next time I have sex (not necessarily with him) that I will bleed again and b) He might twig that I was lieing to him and think I'm stupid Any advice?
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female
reader, penguin64  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 there have been plenty of times ive wished i was a virgin!seriously a bloke that is worth being with will probably like the fact your a virgin. its something to be proud of not ashamed of. and anyway blokes like the thought of a girl who hasnt had sex. if your worried about bleeding then lovie it happens to everyone...well nearly. but if u really dont want that then break yourself in! at least then u can be gentle.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Firstly, (A) You might bleed a little the next time you have sex, and it will continue to hurt a little the first few times since your vaginal muscles are not use to sex. With time, your muscles will learn how to react and there will be less pain. Try to relax, having a little bit of alcohol will help (don't get drunk!). If you are tense, so will be your muscles and you will be in pain (B) He might wonder why you didn't tell him you where a virgin if you choose to confess this information. I doubt he will think you are "stupid". If he has any negative reaction it will be that he thinks you are too young for him or have too little experience to meet his sexual expectations/desires. If this is the case, then he was not interested in you as much as he was interested in sex.
Don't feel embarrassed. No one starts out experienced and it should not be your goal to rack up experience immediately. Take things as they come and be natural. Don't be afraid to be honest with him and admit that it was your first time. If you desire a relationship then you will have to make yourself vulnerable and be honest. If he doesn't accept you as you are there is no point wasting your time with him, right?!
Good luck and be safe!
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Sometimes I wonder why girls are ashamed to say they're a virgin. There's zero things wrong with it, and it's just worry over nothing.
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