A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have an issue with my husband, we don't really get along too well and it seems like we fight constantly. We got together very young. At 16 we are now both 24 and have two kids together. The fighting never stops we cant even have a conversation about what to have for dinner without it leading to an argument over something else! (There was cheating on both our parts, plenty of lies to go around too) Our oldest is 6 and I asked him to make a promise with me that we wouldnt fight around the kids, but he refuses. He says, "that's life, and if we didnt fight around them we might as well just lie to them everyday, we're not perfect" ughh its just so frustrating in this house sometimes and i know its rubbing off on the kids. Neither 1 of us can make it on our own (financially) so i feel stuck. Like i have to stay with him for money and i do want the kids to have a mommy and daddy in the home... But it just doesnt seem like a good enough home for my kids! I dont know i guess i just need some opinions or something.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Well as i said, if there is love still there then work at it. Maybe go see a counciller or try getting a babysitter in at least once every other week and spend quality time with each other.
A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (17 June 2009):
I've read this book called "how to stop your break up" it's an ebook and extremely helpfull. There's a section in it where the author writes about pride and how this becomes a bad thing in a realtionship, and about how when an argument starts, that argument could have been a very effective conversation if both parties, communicated to understanding why one another feels that way, rather than communicated with the intent to protect themselves, and their pride. I believe you might find this book very helpful. try googling it if you're atall intrigued :)
good luck!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm well thanks for everyones help. We've talked about divorce many many times but in spite of all of this we really do love eachother and want it to work out. I suppose we will just take things one day at a time. I'm doing my part to stop the constant arguing but sometimes he knows just the thing to say to get a reaction out of me. Thanks again. My children are the most important and if living in an unhappy home with 2 parents is worse than a happy home with 1 parent I guess that may be something that will have to happen.
...............................
A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (17 June 2009):
marriage counselling?
coming from a child of divorce, i was actually relieved when they broke up, because they were finally happy.
If any of that helps at all
...............................
A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (17 June 2009):
Dont do it. My mum did it with my stepdad for too long, their love died out after a few years and she just stayed with him for the money, they were constantly arguing and his anger was always taken out on me. Not nice. You dont want your kids to witness world war three in their own home every day and grow up resenting you. You need to think about this properly, unless you and your husband can sort out your issues with one another then you really need to seperate. It will create a much better and happer enviroment for the children to grow up in. I'm sure they'd rather have two happy parents that are seperated than two unhappy together parents.
...............................
A
female
reader, LacyLace +, writes (17 June 2009):
 my parents divorced wen i was 6. its hard on kids, but at that age they dont really know wats happening. they dont understand. its easier wen the kids r young cuz they get used to it as time goes by. but wen they r older it will be more difficult. especially if ur fights continue as they get older. my parents r still goin through the custody battles and its been over 7 years. its tough but its not so bad. my advice, maybe split up but u can still live together. make him sleep in the basement or something? lol ;)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): i am a socialogist and Studies show that even children who's parents live together but are unhappy do better than children whos parents are seperated but only if they have expierenced living with both parents originally.
...............................
|
