A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with my 24 year old teacher. I am 15 so there is only 9 years apart, and if i wasnt a student it wouldnt be a big deal. This is his first year teaching at the high school and he is a amazing man. When he isnt teaching, he is just another one of the kids. In the beginning of the year me and him got close. We talk about personal things and we know alot about eachother. I would hang out with him at school events and about halfway through the year he would start rubbing his hand up and down my back, or grabbing my knee when he was going to tell me somthing. I have his cell number and we talk outside of school. It is summer and he is interested in hanging out. I dont know how to take this. I am in love with this man and i believe he is worth waiting 3 years for if he is interested in me. It is hard for me not to kiss him when he hugs me or when he rubs my back when we are sitting in his room together. Please help. What do you think? Do you think he is attracted or, interested in me, Do you think i should give up on him or try and wait the 3 years maximum. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady +, writes (28 July 2009):
Yuck. The way this teacher is behaving is entirely innappropriate. And no this would be a big deal EVEN if he wasn't your teacher as you are underage. Men who are attracted to young girls under the age of 16;; are much too close to men who are attracted to children - paedophiles. Many men who are attracted to young girls are sexual predators. At 15, you are very vulnerable and you are still in stages of emotional development (no matter how mature you are). this means that it is easy for you to become dependant on the attentions of others (especially those older than you and in a position of authority). Because this teacher is showing attractions to you so young! It means that he could well be attracted to other girls of the same age.. this could mean that in the 3 years;; he could lose attraction to you. My guess, he will not wait 3 years if he is attracted to you and will find a very clever way of getting you to do things for him or enter into a relationship whilst yopu are convinced you 'initiated it; and you will blame yourself for anything he does. If you were to tell someone in the school; his behaviour would be regarded as entirely innappropriate and he would be told to stop. If you get involved with a teacher;; there is no guarrentee of what will happen;; he may sleep with you and all kinds of things and you will realize how wrong the situation is - when you report it; it may be covered up by the school and you will be left to suffer at the brunt of it. Situations like this are dangerous - you are underage he should not be touching you or 'being friends' with you. No matter the age difference; 18 year olds can be sexual predators. The touching and behaviour is not a sign of interest; it is a sign of dominance and a control method. He may well be creating a base for innappropriate sexual behaviour and abuse later down the line (when you 16). Do not let this happen to you. And don't you find this behaviour patronising or pushy? Surely you want to be respected and treated on the same level as him; as an equal. Don;t let him think he can behave any way he likes with you; if you are mature - then you deserve a relationship based on professionality. Friendships are nice; but not when they cross that line - remember this is the man responsible for your grades urgo your future. Power in the wrongs hands is very dangerous - it's not a good idea to put your life in this man's hands. If he is putting his life in your hands (his career) it will be because he is convinced you would never do anything to threaten it - this also indicates he knows what he is doing and is engineering this situation to suit him. Never trust a man who wants to be close friends with 15 year old girls.
A
female
reader, kitty_3  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 if he asked you to hang out, i think you should go for it! just, keep it friendly for now until it's legal and you wont get him in trouble.also, nowhere does it say that he's kissing her. she said that she sometimes wants to kiss him, not that it actually happens.and lexstar, that is the cutest story!!!
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A
female
reader, lexstar +, writes (28 June 2009):
i know everyone has said its wrong and hold a negative view, so what i am going to say will be highly unpopular.
at 15, i too fell in love with a 24 year old teacher. (though id like to point out, when i met him at 14 he was training to be a teacher and workin in a local cafe to pay for university.so he was never actually my teacher)
though i didnt get with him until i was nearly 16.
even though he wasnt my teacher, it still had the stigma attatched, i couldnt tell any of my 'friends' for fear of it spreading rnd school and gettin to higher authorities.
my best friend knew, and, that made it easier.
i as rather mature for my age, at 15 i was gettin into clubs, although, im not a big drinker, and im an A* student.
so we had lots in common, loads to talk about, places we wanted to visit and passions that we could share and discuss.
this was totally mutual. i met all of his out of work friends, and we all got on a like a house on fire.
at 17 i slept with him, and it was absolutly amazing. because i was in college, i could now tell people (although, i had to say it was a new relationship)
that was 3 years ago, and im still with him now.
-----i think though, that only you really know what is happening in the situation, just dont mistake him being caring and sympathetic with fancying you,
i know that at that age you can over analyse everything and make small things seem huuuuuuuge!
if you like him for the attention, and the help with problems, maybe this is just a friendship, or a concerned teacher?
i think unless you have things in common, (other than school) then no relationship will work.
you need to share hobbies and loves etc. to converse and enjoy each others company.
whatever you do, be careful, if he doent like you like that, and he rejects you, it will hurt, and will be embarassing and awkward,
furthermore, if he uses us, that will hurt as well,
i know i got my teacher, but, that doesnt mean you will, or it will work out
be safe
xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): dear posterlet you me tell you this from my own experience..i was around 16 when i started liking my teacher, it wasnt any harm to anyone i just admired him! he had great sense of humour, caring and also very attractive! but i didnt think twice about been in a relationship with him until he started playing with my mind.i had his number aswell and we was texting during the holidays although nothing special just general "how you been" talk. one day he told me he loved me and that he would do anything to spend the rest of his life with me!he was married and had two children!!When we was in his classroom at break he would hold my hand or stare into my eyes.at the time i didnt know what to feel or what to say, i knew he liked me but i didnt think he would take it this far and tell me. it felt harmless even though i knew it wasnt right i couldnt get my self to avoid him.after that year i finished school and didnt see him ever since. he txtd me a few times to meet up but i didnt and now thinking back i feel sick and used! i guess now i can tell it wasnt love he had for me maybe it was abit bit of excitement! please, please dont fall for him!! teacher know how golable young students are and unfortunetly some take advantage!! sorry to say this but your probly nothing more than and adventure in his life.if you really want to see it for yourself wait for 3years having a normal student teacher relationship and see how long his willing to wait.hope it helpedgood luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): ONLy nine years apart?!!! Even if you weren't going to school at fifteen this is a massive age difference wehn you are that young!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Well I can appreciate that you like him in that way as I was attracted to one of my teachers for a short time. Sure I have my teacher's phone no and talk to him alot too. But it doesn't seem right that he's rubbing your back and kissing you IN HIS ROOM! It sounds like he needs to keep his wandering hands to himself. He's not meant to do that- you probably love it but in reality it is him using you. Please don't go any further- he will lose his job etc. But do let one of your teachers know of his tendencies. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): No where in this does it say that the two of them are having a relationship. if they were having a relationship i guarentee that she wouldnt be asking if he liked her. i believe that she is just confused, which is normal considering she is 15.
On that not i would consider waiting 3 years or more to do anything with this man. I understand where you are coming from. I was in love with my teacher who was 12 years older then me. we had a similar "relationship" and when i graduated we figured out what we wanted and we have been married for 17 years. I know it might be tough to wait but he is obviously young as are you and these feelings might be temporary. if you still feel this way once you are out of high school ask him what he feels about you.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Well said SteveS!
Dear Poster, we see so many questions about children who have fallen in love with their teacher and have sexual relationships with them.
I am a teacher. When we sign up to this job, we take on something called "duty of care". We are put in charge of our students educational, emotional and physical development while they are under our care at school.
Having personal relationships with students goes completely against this rule, and smashes right through it. It is wrong, and against the rules. It is all about power and trust and responsibility- your teacher is breaking the trust of the school, your parents, and not taking his responsibilities seriously. These rules are not put in place to be "mean" or stop teenagers having fun, but to protect YOU, the STUDENT. How can a teacher be unbiased in marking and teaching if they are having a relationship with a student? What happens if a teacher uses sex as a weapon - sleep with me or you fail? Do you think this is right?
You say he has only been teaching a year - if he continues this relationship with you, his career will last no longer than a couple of years. The other aunts have already covered the consequences. He WILL be found out. HE will be punished, lose his job, and will never be allowed to teach again. That is the best situation. If you do have a relationship with him, underage then he will be charged with rape (as a minor you are unable to give consent, even if you wanted to), he will also be charged with sexual contact with a minor, this leads to child abuse, breech of trust, and he may also be made to sign the child protection register, along with all the paedophiles and child abusers. This means he will not be able to work with children or be around children unsupervised again. This will make it difficult for him to get a job, and if people find out, well, you can guess what happens to child abusers...
There are many things that concern me about your question. Just a few;
1. The fact that he is rubbing your back in such a suggestive manner and grabbing your knee.
2. The fact that he has your personal number and you text.
3. Hugging and kissing in his room?
ALL of these things can be considered to be abusing his position as a teacher, and they all suggest him being a sexual predator. As a teacher NONE OF THESE SHOULD BE HAPPENING WITH A STUDENT.
You need to ask yourself, are you the only one he is doing this with? Of the 24 year old men I know, I can safely say none of them would want a relationship with a 15 yr old, as they are immature (sorry, but its true), do not have the same level of life experience, and have not fully developed sexually and emotionally.
Technically, you are child. YOU are 15, below the legal age of consent, and therefore a minor. He is 24, nine years older than you. Believe me, those nine years involve growing, developing and learning. You will change more than you can imagine in those years. Right now you see him as this amazing "man" when all you have to compare him with is the silly little boys of your own age. Obviously he is going to be far more attractive and exciting as he is mature and experienced.
You need to tell another teacher about this man's behaviour, and you need to grow up and realise that this is not love. Stop thinking about him, cut all contact with him, and concentrate on your learning and developing as a young adult. The only thing that can come of pursuing this man is heartache and trouble, both for him, and for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): He shouldn't be a teacher if he can't keep his hands of teenage girls. You won't be the last. Do the right thing and tell the school.
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A
female
reader, -x- B -x- +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Hi, I don't want to sound really negative but its not right. Im so sorry... The legal age for sex over here is 16 anyway. Plus he is a teacher - he'll lose his job if he gets caught and... if he isnt interested in you seriously ... you could be putting yourself in some serious danger. I have a friend who is a huge msn addict and she is always talking to strange men who later turn out to be paedofiles- what I mean is just be careful. I know that it may be hard but you need to serious assess the risks you are taking here! good luck. -B x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Please forgive my naivety, but I thought the age of consent in the U.K. is 16. If that is so, then you'd really only have to wait one year.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 June 2009):
 You have no choice BUT to wait, if you do anything with this guy he'll end up in prison so you won't be seeing him anyway. The guy has to have a screw loose somewhere if he is carrying on like this with a student. I also think his teaching career won't be lasting three years.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 I would suggest to wait 3 years for reasons you already know.
He does seem to be interested in you, which to me, shows that he doesn't have much self control and makes me wonder why he chose to be a teacher in the first place.
If he does that to you, he might be doing it with someone else. Or will be ...
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