A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Im not sure if i have a problem or not, i cant masturbate, its not because i dont know how but simply because i dont want to and i think the thought is so dirty so i never do it. my boyfriend always tells me i should do it and that it will destress me except id rather a cuddle and kiss from him and sex to destress memy boyfriend also always asks me to masturbate infront of him and i always refuse, because for one i dont enjoy it and two it embarrases me so much. However we do have a healthy sex life and have great sex, but i cant help feeling if there is something wrong with me because i dont masturbate, i have tried a couple of times but it does nothing for me. if i dont fulfill his sexual fantasy of me masturbating infront of him will this cause problems?and is there something wrong with me for not doing it? and do all girls do it??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): well not allgirls do it in facted lots of them dont he should love u no matter wat
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): I think there are more women than men who don't masturbate...I'm sure it has something to do with the differences in being able to seperate sex and love. Women are more complicated when it comes to sex, it takes us longer to get turned on and climax. We want intimacy and romance. Putting a life-less, cold, plastic thing between your legs just doesn't do it. Someone should come up with a recording for women that appeals to their intimate side, perhaps this would make masturbation more enjoyable?Don't worry that there is something wrong with you and don't do anything for your boyfriend that you don't want to do, you will only feel worse afterwards. No two people are the same, that's what makes us interesting :)
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A
female
reader, Geowjah.  +, writes (8 June 2009):
 Not all girls masturbate, defiantly not, but most who say they dont actually do. haha.What i dont understand is why you feel its dirty, its your own body, i myself masturbate occasionally as my boyfriend lives far away, and i have found that i know my body better and i know what i like and really like, it can boost your sex life and make it better for you :)but no, there is nothing wrong with you, you should tell your boyfriend that, you will do it in your own time or mabey even not at all, it is your prerogative to not want to do it. by the sounds of it you have tried. and dont like it, which is fair enough. dont feel like you are abnormal, because your not :)
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (8 June 2009):
 You don't have a problem at all. Everyone is different, it would be impossible for us all to feel and act the same way.
I would think that most women masturbate, not all. It is hard to tell what percentage of women pleasure themselves. Men talk openly about doing it, while most women are very coy. If masturbation gives you no pleasure at all, then don't do it. However if you enjoy the feelings during sex, then maybe you could try to touch yourself in a way that makes you feel similar. If you do enjoy masturbating, but feel guilty and dirty afterwards, then that is something else. If you were brought up to think that nice girls don't ever feel horny, or that sex is something a man 'does' to a woman, then try to accept that women DO feel the need. Who ever or what ever made you feel guilty? Please bear in mind that it is 99 per cent certain that both your parents masturbated at some stage, and probably still do.
As far as your boyfriend is concerned, I understand him completely. For a lot of men, (and I'm one of them), seeing a woman masturbate is the best thing ever. While my partner is comfortable with herself, and likes to masturbate often, not all women are comfortable with the idea of getting out a vibrator while some bug eyed, panting, dribbling male watches in fascination. He cannot and should not force you into doing something sexual, especially if you are nervous. Sex is something two people enjoy together and equally.
His fantasy must wait until you feel you are ready. If that doesnt happen, it must remain a fantasy.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, yanza +, writes (8 June 2009):
 there is absoulutely nothing wrong with you. many girls dont feel confortable masturbating and infront of a partner is a HUGE step.
if he loves you then it will not cause any problems, him not getting what he wants for once wont kill him.
i hope this helped and good luck = }
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Hun not all girls masterbate hell i'm sort of like you.
i feel really dirty after it and slutty in some ways.
but i do do it in all fairness.
but it's up to you.
and it won't do anything to your relationship just a boyish fantasy doesn't mean anything.
you've tried it and not liked it that's fair enough you do whatever you feel is better for you.
:
hope this helps.
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