A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 years and my boyfriend is 33. We have been together over a year, during which we lived together- I am not from his country. I returned to my country a few months ago with plans to return in five months. I found out that he was with someone else for about a month and only ended it when I found out- he was drunk and he told me. He is still friends with the girl he was with. His friends told me that he says that he has never met anyone like her before and that he loves her dearly. He also told them that he believes that what he had with me was infatuation and that he has no feelings when we kiss. He told them that they cant understand his relationship with me...that he appreciates that I left my country to be with him and I put a lot of energy into the relationship. He says he feels obligated and that its the right thing to do. I am thinking I dont want to be with someone simply because they feel obligated to me, I want him to be in love with me. I asked him why he cheated and he said he wasnt ready to discuss it. He says he loves me but when I asked him if he is in love with me, he said that's a difficult question. I am confused and dont want to make the wrong decision. Do you think there's hope for us? In my eyes obligation does not equal love.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): You already have your answer.. If he can't tell you that he's inlove with you, then he isn't.. You should cut him free and move on. Sounds cold, I know but you're right, you don't want to be with someone who is only with you through obligation.. In the end, both of you will regreat it..
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