A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I have a question to ask and desperately need some suggestions!I have been dating this girl for 6 years now, yes that long and we have decided to move to another country to improve our standards in life. All is getting better and better here and we are starting to plan to buy a house here, but in spite of everything else I am not feeling 100% convinced that I want to marry her. Our years together have been very smooth and we seem to get along well together but when something happens I kind of get into more doubt as to whether she is the right one to build a family with. She has a nice character and is a very caring young lady. I sometimes feel that it is my fault as I have an idealistic view on things and always expected to find a sexy, gorgeous, model type of girl and at the back of my mind I sometimes think of other girls I had dated which were more attractive physically but on the other hand I sometimes think that I am fortunate to have all these good things in the girl I am going out with....what are your views? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Limits +, writes (11 August 2008):
A big thank you to everyone for sending your views...
..keep them coming; I haven't made a decision yet; it is a very serious one and I am really afraid that I will destroy her life if I decide to end this relationship as she is really looking forward to a family...once again, thank you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): I suggest you need to take stock of what is important to you in a relationship; there is no perfect person in the world; however make a list and try and establish of what it is you want from a partner; what is important to you; if need be get the help of a councelor, as Cupidguy suggested, it will make it easier then trying to work through it yourself and a lot quicker;
Once you are in tune with yourself and your realistic expectations you will be able to make a decision; I think you must be very careful not to make the mistake of taking what you have got in your girlfriend for granted; you might only realize the value of somebody like her when it is to late and you have lost her; after 6 years you should know her very well and from what you have described she sounds like a very nic and geniune person;
Do some stock taking and get your priorities in order;NOBODY can tell you who to love or who to marry; you need to find that within yourself and be comfortable with that decision;
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (9 August 2008):
 rule#1 never marry someone youre not in love with....
everything else falls by the wayside
and there is a diference between loving somebody and being in love with somebody so evealuate your relationship and make that delineation
if u dont feel like marryin her ... then dont
its ur life.... be a lil selfish. its the only way to ensure your happiness
best of luck
-Myesha
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): The looks fade with age, the nice character and caring side will only get better.
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