A
male
age
36-40,
*almtreedreams
writes:Okay, so right before bed my gf and i text and she tells me shes going to bed usually sleep well and goodnight. 98 percent of the time.. well a couple days ago she was being all " ohh hunny bear, i hope you sleep well xoxo muah etc.. just really lovey dovey stuff out of nowhere. i thought it was weird but didnt think much of it.tonight, we got into my car from eating out and her phones alarm was going off (Daily alarm for birth control), so i turned it off, and noticed it was a missed call, so i check it in missed calls and notice every history Missed, dialed, received folder was empty and deleted, so i ask her whyd she delete it all? she said it was getting full. so i said thats only the case with text msgs folders. but with call logs they just eventually overlap as we all know.. and also.. (Shes been "forgetting" her phone at home the past couple days, or shes even turned it off even though she never does). back to story: then i said " no seriously, you know thats not the reason, whyd u go out of ur way all the sudden to delete everything " she just got defensive and started yelling. so whatever, i dropped it. Then she was being all nice out of nowhere especially being weird. For example we pulled up to her house, and she says, "wow, the tree in my front yard is much taller than the neighbors, it used to be so small etc.." i was like wtf?? why all the sudden is she so interested about a tree no one notices or cares about.. " and then we go inside and hang out with her mom in the kitchen, my gf makes a tea and picks up a lemon and notices the bottom of the skin is going brown and asks " do lemons go bad" like come on. its a fruit. Yes they go bad..and by no means is she some dumb person. its weird crap like above.. or niceness out of nowhere. i think the tree and lemon things were just convo to try and keep my mind off shit. its like she was nervous.. she was acting as if "oh shit he knows somethings up.. umm.. so look at them trees!! like come on. im not stupid. something has to be up. please ppl. chime in. am i just nuts or is this weird stuff Cliffs: -Turns phone off for no reason (why??) -always on silent?? - deleting call logs (never did before) -forgetting it at home (never did before) - acting weird. making convo about weird, random topics thats never brought up
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): I don't know the answer to your question per se, but I do know something my mom said many years ago. She herself had cheated on my father, and she told me: "When you cheat, your original relationship becomes much better, because you feel happy and nourished and seen, and that's why the person who is cheated on is blindsided because they think everything is going so well."
Try that on for size, but I'm not accusing in either way. You know her best, and instincts are usually right, but don't scare her away for nothing. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Just relax for a few weeks and see if her overly "nice" behavior continues. Also, whenever you get a chance to, scroll quickly through her phone log. If it's always empty, then buy a prepaid card with a new number and start sending her flirty messages. If she responds to that would indicate trouble.
But I honestly think you should just chill out, I don't think anything is going on. Even I sometimes erase my call log for no particular reason... I just do it every now and then, however useless it may be...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 July 2010):
Yes, this stinks of guilt. But there's still not enough to confront her, so you need to be quiet while you try to find out what happened.
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A
male
reader, palmtreedreams +, writes (21 July 2010):
palmtreedreams is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnother thing i forgot to mention. earlier that day she said to me: "so would you be pissed if "jane" (my ex) cheated on you. i said no, why? and she said well your best friend told me something 6 months ago, he told me that she cheated on you while you two were together. then i asked her about it and and a few min later she said, i was just playing. i just wanted to see your reaction. i was like wtf.. nice joke? ha? ha? like who does that. i read somewhere if they bring up stuff like that indirectly theyre just testing waters to see how i act/where they stand. that is of course if there is something going on.. i dunno. im confused. and thank you everyone who took the time to read my post and give advice/insight, appreciate it :)
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Would she really have the time to juggle another guy?..Could it be someone she works with? Before you jump to conclusions, I'd say you need to watch her behavior a little more without making accusations. The more you spill, the more chance you give her to become secretive. Just go along with whatever random thoughts she's having and try to cool your heels without a confrontation. Once she sees you have relaxed, she may return to normal. Because sometimes when a person is in a relationship with someone who's "edgy" about things, it makes them behave weird to over-compensate or avoid an explosion. Think carefully about her personality. Are you sure, she's not kinda like this and you just never noticed because you weren't suspicious before? Just lay low and observe things for awhile. It'll surface eventually. Things like this usually can't be hidden for long. Just don't let her know you're checking on her stuff.
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A
male
reader, lsickle  +, writes (21 July 2010):
i agree with that answer...but pretty much its all bad news for u. One way or another u have just been shown out of the inner circle. Dont confront unless u can nail her whatever it is because if u come with nothing but the phone thing and such she is goin to get even better advantage at hiding whatever...check out this site it is amaing awesome and helpful...calmed me down to think clearly...thetruthaboutdeception.com...or close to it. It can help u figure out ways to own her....i know im seem a bit harsh but i know how your feeling u want the truth and sick of the bullshit...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 July 2010):
Actually, the most suspicious thing is that she is suddenly acting almost overbearingly nice towards you (all lovey dovey),as you put it). When someone's behaviour changes that much, something is wrong one way or another. Often when someone suddenly becomes all lovey dovey for no reason, it's a silent admission of guilt. Also, I do find the reason for getting rid of the phone log a but suspicious.
I'd say this to you. There is not enough here to be sure. But there is enough here that I think you need to check out more. You know she will get defensive, so it's worthless going to her and asking her outright. I'd do a bit more digging elsewhere and see what you can find out. But there are too many things here that would suggest something is wrong for you to ignore it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): The weird convo stuff really sounds like she was just trying to break the awkward/tense silence that followed her going overboard yelling at you. Sounds like she was regretting that and just trying to be extra nice to make up for it.
Turning her phone off and having it on silent could have a simple, nice explanation like wanting to focus entirely on you for the time she gets to spend with you. Or there could be an ex or a guy from work bugging her and she isn't sure how you'd react to her telling you that (I hate to say it, but the way you describe your convo about the missed calls suggests to me you might come across as someone with the potential to get angry and jealous over something she has no control over like that). Or she could be cheating on you. But I really don't think it's a good idea to go accusing her of anything based on the things in your post.
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