A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and my girlfriend have been arguing a lot lately, she is always so snappy and argumentative. ,She says i annoy her all the time, but i really cant see what im doing and if i ask her she will cause a massive argument and threaten to end the relasionship. This morning we had an argument not over anything major, just that i wouldnt let her sleep last night because i kept talking. I tried to apologise to her after she told me she was angry with me but she shouted at me and told me to go.Then moments later she text me and said 'hi dont do anything stupid. I just wanna be left alone at mo. Il talk to you later x'Does this mean were breaking up or what? I dont know what to do, weather to call her or text her. Weve been together 8 months and she has a daughter whose 3 who i have become quite attached to aswell. I dont want to lose what we have.
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female
reader, chloebabeechick +, writes (8 December 2010):
It's so funny how people are so quick to assume the fault is with the gf. Maybe you are constantly do things that are annoying. Keeping someone awake when they are tired by running your mouth is extremely childish and emotionally immature. Maybe you constantly doing things of a similar nature aggravates her, especially when she has the exhausting responsibility of a toddler. Maybe you're not at the same point in your life as she is and she finds you exhausting. In any case try to be as self-evaluative as possible.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): I also suffered like this with my now ex partner,i always suspected him of cheating all the signs and excuses were of a cheating spouse eventualy he dumped me 12hrs after we had fantastic sex,take it from me walk away
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): When a partner starts snapping at everything you do, chances are there's something more serious at the heart of it. It might be that she's having doubts about the relationship, or it could be stresses elsewhere that she wants to deal with on her own.
Either way, definitely give her space right now. It's the best thing for both of you. Let her know that you're there for her, but back off. There's nothing else you can really do to ease the problem.
When things are calmer, you do need to discuss how her behaviour affected you though. YouWish is spot on about walking on eggshells - it's it just spirals out of control. Plus, if she IS stressed about something, taking it out on you is not the right thing to do.
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A
female
reader, slsewell +, writes (8 December 2010):
It sounds like she’s dealing with a lot of pressures and has too much on her plate. Even though she shouldn’t take all this frustration and anger out on you, she probably views you as her confidant, friend and in some way the scapegoat to vent or somewhat blame her issues on. Speaking from my own experiences with my fiancé, there’s days that work, family and other stressors clam me up I want to avoid bringing them up and my grumpy mood will make me a bit snippier. I’m sure she loves and cares for you immensely, and that her actions are the result of other life issues. You can suggest taking a date night or make her a romantic dinner at home. I’m sure you can find a friend to watch her little girl. Write down how you feel and how her temper explosions upset you, and have her write down how she feels as well. This may help break the ice and give opportunity to work on each of your feelings.
I wish you two the best of luck!!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 December 2010):
Okay, first, it's not a breakup text.
However, geeze, she is FULL of toxic drama. She says that you annoy her all the time, and you're afraid that if you ask her what annoys her that she'll threaten to end the relationship? Sorry, but that is no kind of relationship to have.
She fights you about not letting her sleep and gets angry. This situation is unhealthy. You can NOT walk on eggshells with someone and live in fear of her arguing with you and living with her holding the relationship hostage should you dare to speak up for yourself.
If this is where your relationship is after only 8 months, you need to get away before it gets any worse. She has major trust and control issues that were in place before she met you.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 December 2010):
I wouldn't interpret this text as a break up. She just needs some space right now.
When someone is overtired and angry, it's not the best time to address problems. Give her some space, let her rest, and talk to her later.
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A
male
reader, will aire +, writes (8 December 2010):
You need to go out and do your own thing. Dont cheat...but definitely work towards finding another girl better than her. DO NOT CHEAT. And dont get caught, even though youre not cheating.
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