A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi! I am a Pakistani muslim girl and my problem is kind of freaky and stupid!! It's just that i got married to my cousin(my mom's elder sister's son)in the end of december 2008. He was quite good and friendly before our marriage. when we got engaged he and i were completing our studies. He went to England for 6 months for study purpose. He never called me or talked to me otherwise, although everyone was insisting him. At the time of our marriage he became very rude especially towards my parents. He never really talked to me even after our marriage. On our wedding night he fought infront of everyone with my parents on a certain matter. Afterwards when we were alone together he just talked about his job and his work happily. I was sooooooo nervous that night and he didn't even say anything to me. By the way he didn't do anything with me. He just slept on our wedding night without even talking to me. After a week his parents pushed him to ask me about sex and he asked me in a very awkward kind of way. I was nervous and i didn't say anything. Nothing happen i'm still a virgin. I was not comfortable with his family they were really annoying. And he only ever asked me about having sex when he was in his parents house. Whenever we were alone or somewhere else he never even taked to me about any kind of romantic stuff. I felt very embarrased and scared coz it was my first time. So after 3 months of hopeless separation i asked for divorce because his sisters and parents were saying very rude things about me. Now i am deathly scared of sex and marriages and also i am very confuse about what has happened to my life?? Am i going crazy or what PLZ HELP ME!!!!
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cousin, divorce, engaged, muslim, still a virgin, wedding, wedding night Reply to this Question
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male
reader, soon567  +, writes (8 December 2010):
Your husband didn’t want this marriage and probably went through this marriage only because of pressure. To stand here and call this guy names is ridicules. You two need to end this and go your separate ways. I wouldn’t want to be married to my first cousin either. At some point you need to take charge of your own life and in your mid 20’s your mother pick your husband and think this will be a fairytale romance is out of this world. We probably want to be with someone else and I don’t think it’s you.
He has nothing to do with your mental state; you contribute to this problem just as much as he did. He married you and for a week he wanted basically nothing to do with you. Why would you want to sleep with anyone that isn’t into you? You need to ask for divorces, because he never wanted you from what you have written here.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): i would advice you to leave him. A husband is not suppose to be like that he is suppose to be loving and care about your feelings. I advice you to not have sex with him and consummate the marriage because that would increase your chances of getting a divorce. After the divorce take your time the next time around don't rush into a marriage before you know the person make sure they know about you and care about you. It is okay to be nervous and scared but if you met the right guy and you tell him your concerns it will make the transition into another marriage/relationship easily. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR CURRENT HUSBAND he is only going to give you a lifetime of misery and your future children will not be happy.GOOD LUCK!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 December 2010):
 This guy was a complete jerk. On one hand it's a good thing that he didn't take advantage of you, because I doubt he would have been a good lover, but on the other hand he's left you with a boat load of issues...
Separation and divorce is your best bet here. That was absolutely the right call. Now you just have to find the right guy. I wish you luck.
I don't know your culture, but I can say that the husbands I know do not treat their wives like he treated you. He was not a good man.
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