A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiJust looking for feedback from people living with their partners. Ive been with my partner for 18 months now, its a distance relationship so we only see each other weekends. At weekends we have sex 3 or 4 times over the fri night, sat and sun..and ive always assumed she is as happy with this as me.We are looking to move in together now, and were talking about it last night- and i joked about sex...at which point she said 'i hope you wont be expecting sex EVERY night when together'and i asked what would be ideal for her, she said something like every other day.I guess i can live with that, but - it has made me worried that things will dwindle when living together to even less than that, and seemed a strange thing to bring up before we have even moved in?Would the couples here say sex every other day is perfectly normal?. And would they say its just being sensible to bring it up in advance?Ok im in my 30's and my partner in her 40's, but that doesnt mean we cant have a good sex life living together... with my ex wife of 13 years it was just about every day for the first 10 years...
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ex-wife, moved in, my ex, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses guys..couple of comments id like to make
Firstly, i totally agree sex should be natural and when you both feel like it, hence why being told a set 'amount' seemed a bit strange.
Secondly...we dont just centre around sex, we often spend an entire morning/afternoon in bed just kissing, cuddling and stroking without doing anything else, and we go a lot together..
I am fine with 'every other day' it just seemed a bit wierd to bring the topic up before we even moved in?
Thanks
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (8 January 2010):
 Every couple is different and if you're in a relationship where you only do it every other day, then that's fine, it's normal to only do it 3 or 4 times.
Don't force sex, it's one of those things that comes quite naturally so just do whatever feels right.
good luck
xx
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (8 January 2010):
 "CaringGuy", I hate to argue with you but this is a serious red flag. Sex in marriage does certainly tail off, especially where women are concerned; men tend to remain horny forever!
The questioner is right to worry and should ask himself if he can tolerate a marriage of sex limited to only when she feels like it - after children, that is likely to be very rarely.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Oh boy...! This is entirely dependant on you gf's libido!! For some women once a week is too much and for others seven times a week is far too little!!
You might find that after living together for a while, you will have sex every other night... which is great!
I think that you should discuss your concerns, as you dont want to find once you are married that you are only having sex once a month!!
Please remember that the everyday stuff and stresses do catch up and there will be times when she will just not want to have sex but this should not be an excuse that used to avoid sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Everyones sex drive is different. Maybe because you dont see each other much she feels as if the weekends are centred around sex and she isnt keen to have a full on relationship like that. Best talk to her if you have a problem with sex every other day. Its all a nonsense anyway really. Who knows how often you will have it. Sometimes one will feel ill, there could be squabbles. Its rather impractical to try and thrash out a sex rota. Just go with the flow. If you are really good in bed im sure she will be keen whether its a `sex` night or not.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 January 2010):
I'm in a long distance relationship, and though I haven't been with her for a massively long time, everything you're doing seems to be perfectly normal. I think your parter is a little concerned that you'll just want her for sex and not want to just spend time together as a couple. I don't think you have to worry about anything.
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