A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem regarding my mum, and travelling to London. I was supposed to be going there alone, for a concert, but also to spend a few days to sight see there, and i planned on meeting some of the fans of the band i am going to see there. Some of them are people i have met before in person. I went to London on my own once before, and met up with some fans then. However, even though i am 26 years old, and even though i went once before, my mum doesn't want me to go there alone, even though i would be meeting the fans again. She has said that she is going to go with me, as it would be safer. I love my mum, and in a way, i dont mind her going with me, as we would have a break there together, but i feel like she is trying to control me. She wont be going to the concert with me, even though she likes the band, as the concert is now sold out, so unless we could get her a spare ticket, she wouldn't be able to go anyway, but she wants to go as she likes London anyway and she would like to do some sightseeing, but also so that it would put her mind at rest about me going there. She said she would go to this other gig, the band will be having there though, if we can get tickets for it, as you have to win the tickets for that one, and it would be free. I dont mind her going to that though, as we both like the band. It's just that i had planned on doing my own thing with my friends there. What do you think about it?
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male
reader, JayLovesSam +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Hi hun, you are very sweet :)Listen, your mum loves you very much and you clearly love her, but you know what? you can't allow your mum to go, your a fully grown woman, 26! I am 25, my mum was quite controlling too but in the end I had to get quite nasty, because I am a bit of a manly man and she would get mad when I would go visit my friends, or see my girlfriend because I would miss the family meal! or I am not spending enough time with her and my father! I found it extremely irritating and in the end I shouted at her ( I am not suggesting you do this lol)What I suggest is you just sit her down, explain that you are a fully grown adult and that you will do what you want to do and with whom, the only way we develop in to great human beings is by doing things for ourselves, and although its natural for parents to worry, they have to let go in the end!Just be strong and with out sounding mean, put her in her place!James xx
A
male
reader, Lookingforwisdom +, writes (2 August 2010):
Yes your mother is being too controlling, but you are also not being independent enough by allowing this to happen. You're 26 now, you are an adult, and you really need to realise that. When you are a child your parents are responsible for looking after you, paying for your living expenses and sometimes education and healthcare. But for most families that kind of authority over their children's affairs ends when the children become around 18-21. It is vitally important in my opinion that you become more independent. You only have one life, so live it how you want, not how your mother is telling you to. I understand that it will most likely be a difficult and heart-wrenching conversation to have telling your mother to butt-out, but you have to tell her that you are your own person and she needs to realise that you are an adult now and you can look after yourself.You won't realise how great life can be until you become independent and have total control over your life. Don't let a domineering parent (no matter how much you love her) ruin this for you. It is a "once in a lifetime" experience.
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A
female
reader, Dr.Ski +, writes (2 August 2010):
This is the good old letting go collision. To your mother, your still her little angel, and until she realises that you will have no peace... But that's ok, because parents are quick too understand things when you really explain it to them. so go ahead and tell her how you feel, maybe she will back off a little xx
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