A
male
age
36-40,
*owz3r
writes: So recently my girlfriend received a text message from an unsaved number. I told her to respond to it and she did it very hesitantly. She responded who is this. I then asked her to turn on her on sound because i was suspicious. So we were on the bed and i decided to text and call her with my phone and turns out she didn't turn on the sound and was pretending not to feel the phone. She kept the phone close to her the whole time. Later I asked her if the person had text her back and she said no but i deleted the text. I asked her if she had given her number out she swore up and down that she hadn't and that she's faithful to me. Surprisingly that person didn't text her back. We had an issue with this before because she changed her number a few months ago because she claimed it was an old number but she had random numbers calling her in the middle of the night. I feel she may be lying to me about this and she may be giving her number out and not telling me. What should I do? I don't believe her but she swears up and down she's telling me the truth. We have been together for a year and 4 months already.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011): It was probably just a wrong number text, and she was probably just hesitant because the worst feeling in the world is having a partner breathing down your neck, "telling" you to respond to it and throwing little "tests" your way. From someone who spent 3 years with an unjustifiably paranoid, insecure, controlling and jealous man, that sounds exactly what you are. I once received a text from an unknown number, I simply text back saying wrong number. Like your partner, I got accused of allsorts which would never even occur to me. Guess what? He's now my ex, who is desperate to have me back because he realised how wrong he was. If this is your onlly evidence for her doing something behind your back, then sorry to say carry on like this and you'll lose her.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2011):
why would you think she is cheating.
maybe it was a wrong number?
the problem is you don't trust her.
will you ever?
if you don't trust her why do you stay?
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (21 November 2011):
Hi Bowz3r,
Hard to give you a straight answer when you don't have any proof. If this is all you have, NO, I don't think your girlfriend is cheating on you. To me, maybe she was acting little nervous about the mysterious text, and hesitant when you asked to reply because, "she's scared of you".....
You are already in her face, demanding a reply? I would be nervous too, not because of guilt, but because of your behavior. She probably had phone mute because she didn't want you to get mad at her again, it was off not because she's hidding something from you. You said something similar happened before? So, that means she knows how you get angry at her for no reason. Also, she acts nervous because you keep interrogating her, and accusing her. Until you have real proof, don't make
her feel this way anymore. It must be stressful for her. Give her the benefit of doubt.
Good luck/
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A
female
reader, katheriner +, writes (21 November 2011):
I would keep an eye out also. I had a Partner who did similar things and I put myself through hell watching them. If you get a chance I know itsawful but misplace her phone if she goes mad you know shes hiding something sorry to give you such underhand advice it could be shes trying to avoid a person from her past and she is worried you will take it the wrong way so dont panic just keep an eye out
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A
female
reader, mammaboo +, writes (21 November 2011):
you are now in the realms of uncertainty and this will eat at you till you find out,if you find out.You know that something is going on because its what people do when they have something to hide.To break this feeling of being suspiciousness you must catch her at it. In the words of Chris Rock "how do you do that?......Be there!.... and even then she might slip your ass!!Seriously though you need to have the conversation about how much this is eating you up.Get to the bottom of why this is happening1 Good luck!
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