A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I know this has nothing to do with love but this is a work sitution in which I really need some help with.So around 2/3 months ago I was taken from one department and put into another to train up how they work in their office as right now there is only 2 of them who work 4 days on 4 days off. So im there to cover if someone if off and also help out when needed.Well problem is before I arrived many people had been trained to do the job and kept on failing because they just couldnt pick it up and both girls (one is 26 and the other around 40) were moaning because sometimes it gets very busy and you need two people and they cant get holidays because it would mean having to work too much days in a row etc. Then I came along and within a week I can be left to work on my own.I seem to have picked up the job well, yes there is still some things im unsure about and things that could go wrong and id be like omg what do I do but overall I know what to do.Well the older lady began to get rather snappy and bitchy with me quite quickly (oh I must add they both know Im leaving next year as I have a visa to go to canada) and she actually at one point told me the sooner i leave the better and stuff like that. But Ive been shrugging it off and tying my best to ignore her but now the younger one has started too. She moans all the time about there not being enough work for one of us let alone two (which I admit there is not much work at all in the morning, but in the afternoon we're fine) and she is now being an absolute bitch with me. She is blaming me for things I didnt do and having a go at me for ridiculous things which are irrelevant or things which can be explained (one was checking this system which I always do but I had noticed during the week last week it had switched backwards to something she had done but I didnt have a go at her for not doing her job right I just fixed it) Anyways I dont know what to do. The younger one has just came out as pregnant and leaves in march for a year by which time I will be gone. But until then how do I solve this?I went to my boss this morning and asked to get put back to my old department until december (busy time) and then id come back to cover holidays until march when she leaves and id take her shift until we train up someone new when I leave but I was told no. He said the reason im in here is so there is always cover when needed and if anything happens and we are busy im there to help and he said he would find extra work for in the morning but im at a loss for how to handle this. I constantly want to cry.
View related questions:
my boss Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Neither of these women want anyone trained in the jobs and the boss knows it. They are training people to fail. and they are bullying you.
Watch your back.
Write up notes on anything they teach you. Don't be afraid to clarify anything. Document it. even a follow up email such as:
Hi Mary, this is to confirm our conversation on 16.11.2011 where you mentioned that task KLM requires that I complete tasks A, B and C, as detailed in my previous email dated 15.11.2011 and deposit the plans with Mr ... before 3pm each day.
Be polite to them They are both nasty and I bet they have got away with this bullying for years.
The boss has chosen you because the boss recognises that you have the strength to see through them and still learn the job. In fact the job may only have enough work for one not two people. Don't leave around your exercise book with all your notes on how to do the job. Keep it in your own bag, so make it a small one that you can hold in your hand.
If you do any work write up every task you do in an excel spread sheet as their next tactic will be to claim to get nothing done. To malign you to the boss.
So a line on the excel spread sheet would look like this:
16.11.2011 /Mail Merg to XYZ clients/ requested by ABC/ task:COMPLETED
16.11.2011/ training on how to do FGH/ provided by Ms .../ task: COMPLETED
One line per task but enough that you could explain it. This way it would soon fill up and show that you are working hard.
Be unfailingly courteous to this Tag-team of bullies. Go outside the office at lunch time and do something nice for you. Give away very little of your private life as these two nasty women will twist anything you say.
These two insecure woman are utterly threatened by you because you are possibly smarter and more competent than the previous staff they intimidated. The boss will appreciate you understanding and knowing the work. Who knows? The boss may want to shunt both or one of the ladies elsewhere so he needs someone else trained up first. So that that newly trained person knows the score and can train (properly) any other person in the job.
The link below for Biderman's Chart of Coercion is important. It is important that you not react as a bully expects. It will take courage on your part. Bullies are pathetic inadequate nasty people. They get pleasure from demoralizing people; they enjoy ruining lives.
But if you do not react as they expect it de-stablizes these tragics.
It unsettles them. They have usually been bullies for years and years. The junior bully is learning from the senior bully. That is usuallyt how bullying is learned from an older abuser.
Do not play their games. Get on with your work. Be polite to them. But they are NOT your friends. They are colleagues (nasty ones too)
I expect that they may also try to subject you to Ostracism (not talking to you, ignoring you). When that happens bring headphones to work with discreet little ear pieces and listen to quiet (not loud) calm classical music or to the radio or to nice inspiring tapes that give you positive messages. But do not allow them to get you down.
because no bully is worth crying over. (though I did cry when things were at the worst level of bullying - though never in front of the bullies)
Bullies have ZERO respect for the people they bully.
Which is why you need to fully RESPECT AND VALUE you, at all times.
Try not to be alone with either of them. Because that allows bullies too much leeway to tell lies. And it becomes he said/she said.
Documenting everything will put them on notice that you are a wake up to them. But of course you are ONLY documenting as you are taking the training seriously. And want to do a good job. And learn better if you write things down.
Also little or no personal phone calls in work time. Turn your own personal cell phone OFF when you are at work. Give them NO ammunition to allow them to criticize you to the boss. Be above reproach. Arrive on time to work. and don't take long long lunch breaks.
Keep them informed at all times on where you are going and when you get back. If there is not already a board showing who is in and who then either suggest it or make a board that you prop up on your desk - showing that "Mary: 16.11.2011: 3pm - to level 12 - back in 15 minutes"
It is tough, but I have successfully survived bullies from hell in a bullies hell hole (where multiple people were bullied by a posse of long term bullies) and I learned every trick they devise and how to counteract every one of their tricks.
Mainly because I loved my work so much that I was not prepared to leave.
You may not need every one of my strategies. But please do watch your back.
And my good wishes to you.
here are the links:
Biderman’s Chart of Coercion – how an abuser does it
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/pdf/bidermans_chart_of_coercion.pdf
Bullying links
http://bullyoffline.org/workbully/index.htm
http://www.overcomebullying.org/bullying-links.html
Social network bullying
http://www.privacycom.org/content/release-19-child-safe
why do people bully
http://notcooltobecruel.com/why_do_people_bully.htm
Ostracism - ignoring and isolating a person
http://williams.socialpsychology.org/
http://www1.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/Announce/cyberball.htm
A
female
reader, mammaboo +, writes (21 November 2011):
 I think this is classed as bullying. You need to start to log all the conversations you have with these people and the incidents.Take it to a written complaint as you have already made a formal complaint to your manager!
Saying things like the sooner you leave the better is bullying!! Sounds like the older lady has a few issues and she is the one that needs to be dealt with!
If you get no response from your manager go to H.R
...............................
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Hi,I am sorry, I've been through a similar situation myself, I understand how you feel. Just know that no matter where you go, there will always be someone like that, giving you hard time. They don't like you, because they are jealous that you are smart, and learn the job so quickly. They will not stop. In one case, I took the girl out to lunch, so we can get along well. It was fine for a while, then we didn't speak to each other, and the problem continue. It's so stupid! Jealousy can be toxic in a work environment. Did you tell your boss about the situation between you and the two other co-workers? You need to talk to your boss again. You need to be honest, tell him what they are doing to you. All the details, explain you are not trying to make then look bad, and that you are being 100% truthful. This is very stressful, and it's affecting you mentally, and becoming exhausting. Tell him also, that's no good for the business. Eventually it will affect work, and the ability for you to provide good service. Ask him to please, reconsider. Tell your boss, sir I need this job, I enjoy working here...Hopefully he can put you back to your old department, and have someone that the other 2 can work peacefully. When you go home, relax, go out, enjoy your evening, and do not think of these 2 no class humans. They are not worth your tears, nor your energy. Best wishes/good luckPs: I really dislike bad people, fake people, liars...
...............................
|
