A
female
age
36-40,
*oveorheartbreak
writes:I don't know how I can tell if my fiance is flirting and possibly seeing my best friend. He seems to be constantly tugging her hair or tickling her or something. When I talked to my best friend about him flirting with her she said she didn't think it was flirting and when I asked her if I should talk to him about it she said no cause he might take it the wrong way. Today I pretended that I over heard a girl talking about her cheating boyfriend and best friend I asked her how can someone be so selfish? She replied some people don't love their wife or girlfriend and some people want the pleasures of someone new. I asked why hide it and she replied cause they are afraid they'll lose everything or they'll get beat up on. I said it'd be better to tell the truth than get caught in a lie and I pretended to use my boyfriend as just an example and she changed the subject? Does it sound like somethings up or am I paranoid???
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Why not tell him that you find his attention to your Best Friend a little much? If you two are engaged to be married you need to learn how to communicate. Otherwise there will be no trust or respect by the time you are ready to walk down the aisle.
I think your friend is being inappropriate too. His is your fiancee, and as far as many things go I think it's cool that they like being around with each other, but... there are just limits as to how intimate you are with friends...
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 May 2010):
It could be innocent. But you don't have enough information at all to get an answer. You need to avoid becoming paranoid about it, which you slowly are because rather then look for any evidence, you're making up stories in the hope that someone will slip up and say something. They won't. If something is happening, you need to watch more carefully and not talk about it as much.
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A
female
reader, brklynsis81 +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Most likely you are paranoid - however - I think there is something to be said for but feelings. Sometimes we can tell in our gut that something isn't right. I think I would tell your boyfriend that when he touches and tickles other girls, it comes across as flirting to you. Respectfully ask him to stop. See how he reacts. I think sometimes it is useful, in a calm way, to turn the tables. Ask him how he would feel if you behaved in the same way as he does.In the end, all relationships are based on trust. If he feels you don't trust him for no reason, you might unintentionally drive him away if you make too big of a deal about this. So be reasonable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010): I think you might be paranoid. Plus you are asking the wrong person you shouldn't ask her you should ask your boyfriend.
That said, I really think that if their behaviour makes you uncomfortable then you should let them know.
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A
male
reader, loonman4 +, writes (25 May 2010):
It does'nt sound like he's cheating yet, although that could happen if he continues like this with your friend.
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