A
female
age
36-40,
*irlyxox
writes:Me and my ex were together for 6 months, he is 5 years younger than me I'm 31 and he is 26. We live 2 hours drive apart,but we never let any of those factors affect the relationship. The only factor that did come into play at times, was covid didn't help, and sometimes the age difference did show during arguments and him always wanting to be with the guys and space etc. After much disagreements, after sometime we grew apart. I took the time to improve on my issues, however, my ex grew to hate me and refused to believe he had any fault to play, with that he ended the relationship. 4 days later, after no contact and trying to move on, he messages me telling me he made a big mistake, realizes his issues and was hoping I'd take him back. I told him I've tried to move on, and he needs more time, no one changes in 4 days,and that he needs to figure out what makes him happy. The next day he messages saying "I don't want to play with your feelings anymore, as you are already trying to move on, I'll leave you be. I love you and all the best". Is this some kind of game play? I accepted the breakup to make him happy, as much as I'm tempted to take him back, I don't know what to do or feel.
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female
reader, AnnaGreen +, writes (16 September 2020):
 When you reach my age you will have forgotten all about the few months you sort of knew this guy. Right now you cannot see that it is nothing and barely worth thinking about or remembering.
Think of women who have been living with or married to a guy for many years, maybe had children or bought a home together. They are the ones who need to think long and hard about their ex and whether or not he is this or that or should try again.
Men you just chat to and sleep with for a few months are not worth the time. And if they were only seeing you now and then due to lock down or you not being the main thing on their list of things to do and people to give time to it never even got off the ground.
Before you can grow apart you have to spend a fair bit of time together and grow together and bond. You are talking as if you grew apart after bonding when there was no bonding. If there is an age gap or a difference of attitudes or needs then the bond was never forged, it cannot disappear or die when it never existed.
You both need to be more mature. He needs to realise that a relationship needs a lot of time and patience and you need to realise that meeting a few times and having sex together does not mean you have a real relationship and bond. You were having a casual thing only you wanted to feel it was more.
Save your love and serious stuff for when you have someone you have more in common with, someone who does not need to change in big ways before it works.
Someone who is as keen on it being a real and serious relationship as you are.
You could easily meet or chat to another 200 guys like this over the next year. None of them worth remembering.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2020): It sounds as if there's a possibility that he's playing the field. He wants space and time, then blows hot and cold. Perhaps he's trying to fit you in around someone else who's blowing hot and cold with him? Just a thought.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (14 September 2020):
 For what ever reason this relationship never worked out, so I think the chances are its not going to work the second time around.
Your right, no one changes in four days. You have moved on, you have accepted that it never worked, he displayed qualities showing immaturity, and lack of commitment, traits that your not looking for in a relationship.
I would not take him back, leave it at him wishing you all the best, and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (13 September 2020):
 If you managed to grow apart in 6 months, do you honestly think there is much chance of this relationship working out?
While your age difference isn't that big, you sound like you are at very different stages in your lives; he is still a boy, wanting to play with his mates, while you sound like you are looking for a bit more commitment and a more adult relationship.
Ex boy/girlfriends are usually that for good reason. I would advise drawing a line under this relationship and finding someone who is on the same page as you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2020): Chronologically, you're five hears apart. As far as maturity and psychological-development; you're more than 10 years apart.
You were only together for six months, and there was too much commotion and dispute. Partially attributed to his age. He's using reverse-psychology. Suddenly he's agreeable and cooperative. That's exactly what you want. Go with that!
It's only a game if you make it one.
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