A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right, well....I've asked a few questions on dear cupid already...and I'm beginning to realise that I haven't mentioned everything that I need to...infact, there is a big thing that I haven't mentioned in my other questions which I need to ask help about.I'm sorry if I've asked this question before, but honestly I can't remember!! Anyway, let me begin.My dad has never been right in the head, he suffers from depression and a few other disabilities: for example he isn't very good at recognising social 'ques', he gets angry very easily etc. I guess my question is - is my dad showing sexual interest in me? Or is it just fatherly love? I get a little....hmm, like, worried when he does certain things..to me. For instance, he once tried to kiss me on the lips saying it was normal, and when I refused it he tried again but then gave up. :/ yeah, I know - weird. And one time he also got undressed infront of me, when I was about 13 I think, and rubbed his penis and stuff. I wasn't too sure about it then but NOW I know that that wasn't right. Right? He says I am gorgeous almost all the time...but to me thats is kind of normal I think....but he looks at me funny and puts his hand on my thigh quite near my 'area'. I get very uncomfortable around him. The problem is, is he is a member of a very strict church, and if I told him to back off or told the church then I would get into trouble. The church would definitely not believe me. I don't even attend.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): I think I would like to discuss this with you further, because it seems to me like you are having an extremely difficult time trying to sort things out.Exactly who have you told about this apart from 'dear cupid'? Who could you talk to about it?I imagine your dad has suffered from depression for some time, if he's been doing these things to you. I think its a good thing he's moved away. Is he still in Italy? This is giving you a chance to sort out whats going on and I believe you need to involve the law in bringing the correct prosecution to your Dad, who has, though you seem pretty certain of it yourself, done something very wrong and harmful.You need to tell someone you completely trust who can help you bring this to the attention of am authoritive figure in court.Don't be afraid, but be cautious, and I would suggest you do not visit your father, or in that case be near him in any way. Email contact is alright as long as he doesn't do anything on there which is out of order.Please reply so we can discuss this further, or to make me aware if anything has been resolved or you still need to solve this problem.Gould luck,
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Yes, something is definitely wrong there. I have a little sister who is going thru the same thing with her newly proclaimed stepdad. (Don't ask me why I didn't say OUR stepdad, really can't explain my whole family dynamic right now.) He has, on several occaisions, climbed up on top of her, kissed her on the lips, touched her innapropriately, and all the while she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with him, yet he continues to do it. She is 12 and he is 54, so he outweighs her in both muscle and poundage. She has tried telling her mother, (again, don't ask) but she refuses to do anything. My advice: Forget telling your mom, go straight to the cops if he ever returns from his trip and tries to do it again. Buy some pepperspray. Take self-defense classes. And by self-defense, I don't mean those namby-pamby classes for women that rarely work on one man, let alone if they come at you in groups (and it's extremely possible they will). I'm talking Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Ju Jitsu, that kind of thing. Something that will put him in the hospital. Also, at night, travel in a group. Do this and you'll be protected against any future attacks, whether they be from your father or not.
Warm regards and best wishes,
Maester Arkitakama
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A
female
reader, bOy CrAzY;}  +, writes (24 December 2009):
Once again I agree with soon567 you need to tell on him!! Cause if u don't it will bring other families down if he rapes other kids!! No he hasn't raped u now but it will be coming!! If he isn't leaving for a few more days than that will give him the chance!! Tell your mother!! Stop being stupid about this!!!
Sorry if it's harshbut I'm only concerned honey:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry, it's just I felt really hurt when I shared this good news with you - and for you to put me down and suddenly say that I'm lying. You can understand where I'm coming from yes? You did give me...well, support so thanks, but honestly I can tell you now that none of this is a lie. And by the way - I would NEVER sleep with my dad. I know that is really wrong. And who said that just because I posted this the day before the issue had gone away (and actually he is delaying his leaving for a few weeks now - unfortunately :( ) thats the issue hadn't been there for AGES. About 16 years to be precise...yeah, well - I'm geting a bit ahead of myself again. I've said sorry, but I am not expecting anymore comments of disbelieve - it's not fair.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so you don't believe me? You can go read some other, more "interesting" Post. If you don't believe me keep it to yourself. Do you want to make sure I don't get help? You're horrible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm actually finding this a lot easier now! I just discovered that my dad is leaving and moving to Italy!!! Isn't this great? I don't even have to do anything! And my mum has said that she won't allow him to come up to the house...I can't believe my luck...she must have known something was going on a bit funny - I'm expecting her to come to my room to ask me a few things any day now...he's gone, I never really loved him that much. Is that wrong of me? Well, atleast I'm free of him...i realised that he really was doing strange things..thanks to all of you - if the situation was any different i would have taken all your advice! I'm just so happy :)
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A
female
reader, jana1225 +, writes (22 December 2009):
Well, yes. Your dad is doing things he is not supposed to do. Take his cloth off, playing with himself infront of you or kiss you on the lips.
Since he is actions is not making you feel comfortable, that means he is doing you wrong. You should tell someone you turst, I don't think you should tell anyone in the church. Talk to a close family member and try to confront him, since you mentioned he is not stable, it could be actions he is not realizing.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, ShadowGoddess231 +, writes (22 December 2009):
 That is totally wrong. First off fathers do NOT touch their young ladies like that. Example, my father/daddy pats me on the back, and when it comes to showing love it's always a big ol' bear hug that his arms and hands stay on my back or my arms. My father never ever sat there rubbing his dick and junk in front of me. I have no idea what he does in that way with my mom. My dad says that I look nice when I was growing up, and now when I'm adult and married he says that I'm very pretty and he is glad I do what I can to take care of myself, thus eat right, take showers, put on make-up (cuz it makes me feel good) and wear nice clothes that don't show anything really. When I do something like change my hair cut or anything like that he gives me a pappa smile and says it looks good. I'm hoping that my dad is a prefect example for you to judge what your dad is doing to you.
Yes, mothers can put their husbands in their place, however some (I mean about 95% or more) are too scared to put their husbands in their place. If she is there and scared you'll need to talk to someone else. So you'll need to talk to a teacher, or someone you can trust, if you really have to, go to the cops and let them in on how you feel and what is going on.
I hope this helps you out.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 December 2009):
You need to tell someone else you can trust, such as a teacher or a very trustworthy adult. He is trying to abuse you, and clearly needs psychological help. Coming here was very brave, so well done. Now you must be braver and tell someone you can trust, because this is not normal behaviour and it's unsafe for you to be near him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): where is your mum in this picture? The only reason i say this is because having had you with your dad, she may understand him a little better and maybe able to interpret his actions around you. I think it wise to maybe have a chat with her although not sure. Your father/daughter relationship sounds a little off from what you are telling us but i'm not completely sure. Kissing on the lips for some people along with thigh touching can be pretty normal - i know a guy who does the same thing but he doesn't mean anything by it, its just the way he was raised. I don't think you should involue the church - i think that if your mum is in the picture that you should try to talk to her about how you are feeling. Sorry i can't be of much more help.
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A
female
reader, Paigeykins +, writes (21 December 2009):
 I would think that after him taking his clothes off & touching himself right in front of you that somethings not right. He might in fact have an intrest in you. I would tell someone. My dad used to be an alcoholic & he lost his right leg when i was 2 years old. My mom died right in front of me when i was 5. When i was 10 my dad crawled up the stairs & came over to me crying, drunk. He was laying his head & arms on my legs, really close to my area. He started telling me how he killed my mom & everything. (which wasnt true) I told someone & i dont see him anymore but it could have gotten worse if i wouldnt have said anything. Even if your scared or uncomfortable with telling someone, you need to let someone know. Good luck. :)
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