A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so me and my boyfriend were at my house in my room just listening to music. and than His friend comes over and jumps on my bed next to me. i just rolled my eyes and said what do i own this great honor to? he gave me a smirk and said you can be sarcastic but i know you just want to have sex with me. My boyfriend got up and said yea SHUT UP! i laughed and pushed his friend off my bed. i laid down and his friend seriously jumped on top of me and tried taking me shirt off! my boyfriend pushed him off again and his friend laughed and said im kidding! chill dude!my boyfriend got in his face and said'your not to ever touch my girlfriend like that ever again!' his friend rolled his eyes and said wow well insecure? scared she might pick me? i rolled my eyes and said shut up! he winked at me and my boyfriend flipped out. he basically pulled me off my bed and put me closer to him and kissed me. his friend said wow im inpresed! Can't i kiss her too? my boyfriend laughed and said in your dreams! his friend said oh of course! cause every night im dreaming of me and your girl! my boyfriend lost his temper i suppose and punched him. his friend left my house angry and yet still texts me. like Hey babe. or What we doing tonight sexy? My boyfriend gets upset. i have no idea what to do! Is my boyfriends Jealousy over board or okay?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): This isn't exactly jealousy, it's more like anger and frustration for a betrayal of trust. He's angry and frustrated at his friends for betraying him, and at you for lapping up the attention. And his reaction is completely justified. You and his friend are to blame for playing little games, your boyfriend is reacting to being played.
A
female
reader, TeenageDreamgirl +, writes (4 January 2012):
 I think the fact that you really didn't react didn't help the situation. You need to get it through your bf's friend's thick head that he can't do that It's not acceptable for him to behaving that way, especially with your boyfriend three feet away! If it were me, I would've freaked out and kneed him in the balls. Make your opinions known and don't respond to the "friends" texts.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 January 2012):
 Normally I think jealousy is overboard... in this case it's not jealousy.
he's defending your honor...
Block this "friend" of his do not let him facebook you or phone you or text you...
do not respond at all
IGNORE this so called friend.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (3 January 2012):
 Not overboard at all. There are legal questions here. The texts and suggestive talk are sexual harassment. The taking off your shirt is sexual assault. The punching is battery.
The reason we write laws about this is because they are not acceptable behavior. Your boyfriend was right to intervene.
I'm worried about your feelings about this. You are worried about your boyfriends actions. There is more to worry about in his friends behavior. You are thinking that your boyfriend is overly jealous. To me he is just being protective, which is the natural instinct of a guy who cares about you. Yes he needs to control his temper. Yes your bedroom was not a good place for you three to be. But I find no fault in your boyfriends behavior.
How do you feel about it? Does it bother you that he is so possessive of you? If you don't like this it is time for you and the boyfriend to sit down and define your relationship.
As to the boyfriends friend, he should be thankful for the punch-out. in a few years the same actions will get him a law suit loss of job or jail time. It is a good time to learn his lesson now.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012): I support your BF in his limits, his expectations, and even when his words were not being respected- his last resort to teach his 'friend' a lesson of respect to him and you and how to HONOUR others by physical force.Normally I don't agree with physical violence but in that age grouping and in that situation- I can respect his judgement.If some guy that was not my BF/Fiance tried that crap- I would kick him between the boys. NO ONE TOUCHES me without my CONSENT.You, out of respect for your BF and really, yourself, should blacklist this egotistical, selfish, disrespectful 'friend'. After that display of ill regard for another, let alone his own friend, just to stroke his sexual ego and at your expense? as unworthy to be a friend to anyone.I agree he is most likely narcissist and when you are dealing with a narcissist- they honestly believe they are above moral right/wrong, they are NEVER wrong, it is always someone else fault, and with this they are abusive and target other people to use for their enjoyment. Clearly not healthy.CUT HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE.And work harder at supporting your BF in how to be loving, respectful, and faithful to you.
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A
male
reader, Mark_25_  +, writes (3 January 2012):
 Well for once on here when it's a jealousy question I'm on the side of the person that's jealous. I think the jealousy on your boyfriends part is completely justified. If a friend of mine tried to take off my girlfriends top I would be furious! That's completely beyond the line in anybodys book. That also goes for the texts, referring to you as babe and sexy isn't right, and he clearly isn't a very good friend to your boyfriend. To answer your question about not knowing what to do - you need to tell this "friend" to stop his inappropriate behavior, and if he doesn't, you need to stop texting him and being around him, because he obviously wants you more than he cares about the friendship with your boyfriend.Your boyfriend is completely in the right to be jealous, it's as simple as that!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 January 2012):
 No it is not over board, what this other guy is doing is wrong, and to me it sounds like you are loving the attention. I don't know how he can even call this other guy a friend of his, friends do not behave like this. If he texts you then just delete the texts and do not text him back try and avoid him, he is only acting like this to hurt your boyfriend, don't let him, avoid him all you can and concentrate on your relationship and nothing else.
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (3 January 2012):
 This 'friend' of his is not a friend at all. He is trying to wing him up, and see how far he can push him! There are guys like that out there, and trust me dont get involved. Stay with your boyfriend he cares about you he's better than his so called friend. My boyfriend would have done exactly the same, some guys can be more jealous than others, but what this guy did was unfair and you should stand your ground with him, tell him you dont want him texting you or calling you babe and to stay well away from you, if he does text you totally ignore it. It would be okay if what he did wasn't physical and just texts but still texting is bad but not as bad as him lying on top of you and trying to take your shirt off! I have had a few guys texting me saying they want to have sex with me and my boyfriend flipped and threatned to drag them out there house, of course i would stop him, but what this guy did to you is way worse, ignore him he's no good!Hope i helped xx
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