A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently found an Adultfriendfinder.com email in my boyfriends yahoo account. I have not asked him about it yet but the user name is his initials and some numbers. It looks like he's had it for a while. The only thing he put on the site was the "looking for" part and description. The things he said sound exactly like what he'd say in real life.I am absolutely mortified. I can't believe it. Does anyone have any information on this site? Is it just spam? Is it just some ploy so that the user will access the site? Like a fake user ID? I'm so scared. I can't stop trembling and I really, honestly can NOT believe he would do this. He's always been the good guy.Please pleeease help me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pjl2010 +, writes (14 August 2010):
Funny, I just had the same exact thing happen with my bf. Yes, adultfriend finder.com is a sex site, people looking to have "discreet sex" etc. I wrote down the usermane and password and logged in and was in shock. The good guys do this as a secret life, like a fantasy. I was so upset, never thought he would do that. And he "flirted" with a picture of a naked vagina. I confronted him, he said he would have never met any of those girls and he was just distracting himself. We had been arguing a lot for a while, but this was outrageous. Right now we are working on our issues, but this is something I will never forget. He didn't cheat, but once they put a profile up, its headed in that direction. I'm sorry you also had this experience, it was devastating. He was revealed and I think it helped him knowing I knew. Now we have a line drawn. Sucks
A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Did you read the email? Because it might give you some clues. Did you remember what his supposed user name was? Sometimes, if you sign in from a fake account, it will say when the last time he signed in was. The thing is, these sites are notorious for spam, and if you trust your boyfriend, try to give him the benefit of the doubt and just be more watchful. If you have other reason for suspicion, or if you just can't live knowing this and not talking about it, then bring it up. Hopefully, he will be happy to reassure you. Best of luck, and so sorry you are going through this.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Oh and have you actually seen his profile? The emails that my ex got had the password for his profile on the bottom of the email. Which is where I got to see everything... I'm not sure if you have already seen the profile, but you did know what he was looking for etc, but if you had seen the profile I would think you would know it wasn't just a spam email.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 April 2010):
They could be sending them from awhile ago. But they definitely aren't just spam, he had a profile on there at one time or another. I know how devastated you are.. I actually had not one ex but TWO do this. Totally out of nowhere, great, nice, sweet, shy-seeming guys. The first ex didn't have any info about himself on there. The second ex, the one I really loved deeply, had what he was looking for and a picture (maybe more pictures, I really didn't want to look through them)... I also found out through his emails. He claimed he hadn't been on in forever and I chose to believe him, but truthfully the fact he had ever even been on a site looking for sex always bothered me and we ended up breaking up when other lies began to pile up. Oh and like Detken said a lot of the profiles may be fake but there are very real ones on there as I do know a guy who met a girl from a sex member site. And my ex may have as well, not that he would have ever told me that after seeing how I reacted to him just being on the site! Well I don't know why you were in his email account, if you were snooping then I'm not sure how you will be able to bring this up to him. In my case my ex asked me to check his email for something and lo and behold I found those. It is not something you can ignore though, it will need to be brought up to him one way or another. It will eat away at you :( I really am sorry for you. Finding dirty secrets that are so out of personality for your bf makes you wonder who the hell he really is and it disgusts you. Feel free to email me if you want to talk more about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): you have to sign up for it. my ex boyfriend did and its not a spam sort of thing. i think another important question is why are you in his email account?
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A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (14 April 2010):
I agree with 'Blossom: these sites are notorious for sending emails LONG after you signed up.
You might like to know that the chance of him ever actually having hooked up through this site are rather slim -- most female profiles are fake.
Just ask him about it.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 When my Dad was jobless, he registered with several different sites to email him when jobs were available or with other helpful info. My Dad has now been in a job for several months and he still gets these emails from the site. Maybe he signed up ages ago and forgot about it. I suppose it could be a scam if you have trojans on your pc, because then if someone can see your/his information they could an account under his name. I saw a very similar story to that on Jeremy Kyle. I'd confront him about it. Try logging in on the site if you know what his password might be.
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