A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im in this relationship for like about 2 years now and things have changed somuch recently. At first my BF was super nice to me and all was working out. We used to go out sometimes to places and have fun and he was like always very kind and sweet. But now he has started to get super angry and violent sometimes. I know he has been unde pressure what with work and stuff but Im like getting worried that he can't cope some days. Last Friday after work he wanted us to meet up with some of our friends at the pub and like normal I was deciding what to ware and then he TOLD me what I should ware and changed his mind like so many times. I said just what do you want me to put on then?. (I always do my best to look good when we go out) and thought he just wanted me to ware a particular dress or something. He said he wanted everyone one to notice me with him and I thought he was just being sweet. I still asnt sure what I should ware and he got angry and just came on to me and forced himself on me. He appoligised afterwards and just said he needed it but he wanted me to look better than his mates GF who he said was amazing. He was just playing me off against her. He pleaded for me to just inhis own words "look slutty. " He has never been like this before and I know that his new mate has something to do with his work and so I reluctantly agreed. When I had done my best eis mood whole changed for the better and I was so relieved. We were a little late as this time we made love before we left (consensualy this time). When we got to the pub after a short while I was going to the womens room when and a group guys blocked my way and tried to chat me up. (they probably thought I was on the make or something bu who I was dressed) Mike rushed over and laid into this guy. He got throwen out and so we all had to leave. But Mike just thought it was funny and his mate did too. I think he was hoping to get in to a fight.He was on a high and later on he wanted to have sex again when we got home. I guess Im just worried that this might not be just a boys night letting of steam. Since then he has been very caring and romantic. Maybe Im worring over what might be only a bad weeks of stress and he neede to let off steam. Am I just over analisig things? I hope so as he is atm ever so passionate. Alisa
View related questions:
notice me, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2019): Your boyfriend is a very dangerous man. He is a rapist, a man with anger issues, a bully, a controlling partner, a reckless hothead and in general a trouble maker! This man does not love a cherish you as he made you dress slutty to put you on public display for his and his friends entertainment. If you stay in this relationship, you are going to be forced into couples swaps, threesomes, and the like. You may be raped at any time by your bf and his equally sick friend. Get out of this sick relationship now while you still are able to do so! I shall pray for your safety and well being.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2019): Young lady, you have only just seen the tip of the iceberg as to how bad abuse and sexual exploitation can get. You need to leave the rapist that you are with! How slutty did you have to dress? Skirt up to the butt? No underwear? When a man loves or even cares for a woman, he would never ask her to dress to even give the illusion that she is a slut. Next time he may let the group of guys take turns on top of you. All of you are drunk and/or high, so anything can happen. Most likely, he wants to screw his friends amazing gf, so you will be forced to fuck his pal. Oh, you cannot be forced? Well he raped you himself, so what chance do you have against the two of them? Your bf is evil! His friend is evil too! The Bible says that bad company corrupts good character! It is very true! You deserve better that what has been done to you, and what certainly will be done to you! Stop making excuses for your rapist. He belongs behind bars! There are womens shelters and rape crisis centers that can shelter you from him!
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (14 August 2019):
 I dread to think what must have gone on in your life for you to value yourself so little and to think this is all you deserve. My heart goes out to you.
I've seem similar situations where vulnerable girls are sought out by men who pretend to be their "boyfriends". They flatter them, buy them gifts, tell them they love them, knowing this is what the poor girls need more than anything. Once the girls are "hooked", the abuse starts. They are emotionally blackmailed into dressing slutty, then into having sex with other men. If they balk at what is asked of them, their "boyfriends" use emotional blackmail to keep them in line. They are asked to "prove" their love. They are told they don't "deserve" the man's love. The men are basically pimping them out as prostitutes.
This guy has already raped you and you don't bat an eyelid at that. I feel so sorry for you. I do hope you realize you are worth so much better than this and that you have somewhere to go to get away from this guy. Nothing about him gives me ANY hope that you will have a good future with him.
PLEASE keep yourself safe. And use reliable contraception.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 August 2019):
 He raped you and then requested you dress slutty because his new mate's girlfriend looks "amazing?"
Sweetheart, this guy is abusive. You need to remove yourself from this relationship as soon as you can.
I hope you take the good advice you have been given here onboard.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2019): OP, where is your head, and what are you thinking? If a bad week of stress caused men to commit rape, no woman could be safe at home, or in public! So his mates gf looks amazing, and he wants you to top that by looking slutty? Can you see how little he cares for you? So does he equate amazing with slutty? I mean was his mates gf slutty looking too, and he just wanted you to look sluttier? Also, he RAPES you, you agree to cheapen yourself, his mood improves, so you and he make love, which makes you run late? I mean what the f@@k??? He did not defend your honor at the pub! He is the one who dishonored you and made you dress, to dishonor yourself as well! Believe me when I say that this will only get worse, and damage you more! Your man is pure poison!
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 August 2019):
 Steam ? Stress ? Passionate ?....whaaat ?
I do declare, some times you guys are incredible ( smh ).
He FORCES himself on you- a.k.a. he rapes you- but somehow that's ok because he had had a bad week at work ?
Seriously ?!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 August 2019):
 Wow, just wow.
He sounds like a piece of work!
Treating you like HIS property by telling you what you wear and using you like you are his personal sex doll. Seriously? You just went along with all this?
WHERE is your backbone, girl?
Do you think because he is your BF, it is not sexual assault?
Do you think because you laid into a guy who was accosting you at the pub he did it to protect you? NO, to protect HIS image and his "property. No one touches you, but him. HE was more busy showing off for these friends, than making SURE you were OK. YOU were just bait.
If he WANTED you to "look better than his friend's GF" why have you look "slutty"? And why would YOU want to look like a hooker? (you mentioned that the guys who accosted you thought you were "on the make".)
He wasn't having sex with you several times that day because he cares for you, that was him being territorial. Like a lion pissing on a tree.
And this is NOT an OK was to let of steam, by first assaulting you, then demanding what you wear, then being a dick and get into a fight. WHAT about that is OK?
IF this is out of the norm, I think YOU need to start thinking a little harder if this is the guy for you, and you NEED to grow a set and some backbone and SET some boundaries. YOU NEED to let him know that if he EVER forces himself on you again, YOU are done being with him.
THAT HE doesn't GET to pick your clothes or treat you like you are just some "girl he owns"...
OR you can continue pretending this shit didn't happen and his behavior WILL escalate.
Wake up, girl.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (13 August 2019):
 First of all, what the fuck? He forced himself upon you? So he has sexually assaulted you. That’s enough for me to know you need to dump this guy.
He sounds pretty violent from your description. Who’s first reaction is to steam in and punch someone when they’re talking to their partner? You’re a grown up, you could deal with the situation yourself and shut the guy down, for your BF to charge in and attack him shows extreme anger issues and to laugh about it afterwards? Scum. I’ve seen a good few stories of people who have died from a single punch, falling and banging their head and your BF has the audacity to laugh at something like this? I’d call him a child but even some of those are more mature that your partner by the sounds of things.
Also, he’s exhibiting controlling behaviours. Telling you what to wear? Absolutely not. Next it will be where you’re allowed to go, who you’re allowed to speak to. You need to get out of this one, this guy ain’t it.
Everyone gets stressed from time, attacking people and sexually assaulting their partner aren’t outlets, this guy has anger issues. How long until he starts taking them out on you?
...............................
A
male
reader, stanliwise  +, writes (13 August 2019):
 Oh sorry about your new experience with your so-called sweet boyfriend. There is a saying, when a fence looks like it is high then there is every possibilities that it is truely high. Truth is your boyfriend has been hiding the rough part of himself to you. He only showed you a glimpse and now you see how scary it is. You are giving all sort of excuses as a justification for his actions but until you to know him better you will realize you have made a covenant with the devil himself (my apologies). The hand writing is clearly on the wall of what you will experience anytime your so-called boyfriend become stress and his emotions is on the loose, my only worry is how long you will bear it before you call it a quit. A guy that force himself on you and gave a petty excuse isn't a boyfriend at all, it is just a matter of time before he begin to fully uncover his wolf nature he has been trying so hard to hide from you. Dangerous guys are really so sweet when they act nice but it is by nature their skill to drag unsuspecting victims into their trap. Girl you're only appealing to emotion and the good side of him, by the time he begins to hit you harder, I hope you would be able to still see the good side. Advice: Run as far as your leg can carry, there is no excuse for violence.
...............................
|
