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Is my b/f pervy or does he love me?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2009)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

pls pls as many opinions as possible from men and women, im having a hard time deciding if my b/f is a bit pervy or does he love me. everything comes down to sex if i want anythin he will jokingly reqest sex or a favour like that. when i see him he ses do u notice iv been good and not mentiond sex if i say i will then change my mind he goes on for ages bout sticking to arrangements actually this applies to life in general.its come to the point that i feel real dread if i cant stick 2 agreed plans with him for any reason. we have just got bk together afta time apart because id often wake up to him doing IT to me. and he would only ever do it not the normal way all the time. should it be easy to change my mind in a relationship. and if i dont feel like sex i can change my mind and tell him without worrying.xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009):

Pervy. I don't mind my guy touching/caressing me awake, but to actually go IN me asleep, that's like violating me. If he can't hold a decent conversation without bring up sex, then you will get to a point you can't take it anymore. Love and sex are different. Don't mistake sex for love.

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A male reader, urbanking99 United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2009):

On reading this personally I think the guy is only interested in sex.

Yes men are to a certain extent ruled by their penises, but if he was interested in you 1st As an equal, 2nd As a woman, 3rd as a friend, then finally as a sexual partner then I would say you have a relationship.

If however you find yourself waking up to him as you say "doing it" to you, then to me he is a complete and utter weirdo and you'd better just end it now.

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A male reader, ISOHaven United States +, writes (24 February 2009):

This is strictly my opinion. You seem to have a break down of respect. Sex between two people should include AND ONLY INCLUDE things that are wanted by both parties.

1. He should NEVER do anything to you that you do not want done to yourself. But you must SPEAK UP and let him know YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT (whatever "that" is).

2. If he's constantly joking about the same thing then again you need to be up front with him. Tell him you do not like it. Then if he continues you need to confront him and ask him why he feels the need to disrespect your wishes. He better have a GOOD ANSWER for that one.

If he can't respect you then it's time for you to move on or get help (counseling) if you choose to keep the relationship.

Again, this is my opinion, you are NOT in a healthy relationship.

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