A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for some time, however, recently i have noticed that when i get down, even if its just a little, he gets annoyed with me, as if im being purposely moody with him, when, in truth, im just feeling a little down. like he'll say things like "omgg whats wrong with you, why cant you be hapy" .. like he only wants to be with me if im happy? i dont think he realises if he was more sympathetic with me, and took the time to speak to me and TRY to cheer me up, i would probably perk up a bit.. why is he like this? is there anyway to make him realise how i feel without actually telling him? (i dont want to risk upsetting him as the other day he already said he feels hes not a good boyfriend and doesnt do enough for me, and then vowed to do better and as yet he hasnt, but hey, thats another story..) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (24 February 2009):
 He doesnt understand and he doesn't know how to deal fundementally and hey that's life some people just dont. Some people can almost instinctively and some people haven't got a clue with the best will in the world. Your bf is one of the people who haven't; what you actually need to do is open up to him and tell him what's wrong but i suspect his responses actually push you the other way and push you further away in terms of not communicating.
Fundementally, he hasnt 'got better' because he doesn't know how too and that is where you do need to step-in and communicate with him and tell him what you need. I think it would be wrong to avoid this because you are scared of upsetting him because if you dont tell him he wont get better and give you what you need and it will continue to niggle away.
He will get frustrated because he will feel hes doing all he can and he won't understand why he cant make you happy at these moments and you will be miserable because you know it's not enough. You need to sit him down and talk to him; make it non-confrontational, try to avoid coming across like you are judging him, focus on using me words, talking about how you are feeling then tell him you just need a few encouraging words.
Finally, you need to ask yourself is this just the occasional low mood or is there deeper causes which need to be rooted out?? Good luck :)X
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