A
male
age
36-40,
*ailing_bye
writes:Through the searching and hunting i have finally found a good chemistry and connection with someone. One problem, she has a husband. I have also met him and he's such a cool guy! I met her through a friend that both her and i are close to, met her husband after (and he's such a good and cool person!) although they are currently going through relationship problems and they are talking about a divorce, i can see that they may still be trying to work it out, but part of me is telling me that she wants to move on and its not because she flirts with me touches me and all of that stuff when the husband is not around and its just her, our friend and I, its the connection i feel when we're around each other. There are also other times where i see she feels somewhat guilty when her husband arrives. I'm conflicted i really am attracted to her and want to see what can happen, but i don't want to be a home wrecker. Can someone please help me with good advice and opinions? am i in the wrong if i happen to follow my heart and move in on her?
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divorce, flirt, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): Yes it's wrong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): All marriages need work and have problems so don't think that she will give up on hers. Anyway yes backing off is good.
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A
male
reader, Sailing_bye +, writes (15 June 2010):
Sailing_bye is verified as being by the original poster of the question i would like to thank everyone for responding and helping out. However, due to the negative feedback on this forum i have decided move in on her hahaha. But naww i plan fall back to see what she really wants because i don't have the heart to break up a marriage. So thanks for the righteous opinions.
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A
female
reader, tjazzy  +, writes (14 June 2010):
Leave her alone. She's taken
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): Oh gosh you are incredible! Just leave her alone you desperaye casanova.
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (14 June 2010):
Don't you dare!If you cared about her at all, respected her at all, then you will leave her marriage alone, and let her decide where THAT goes before you make move one. If you actually care for her, and she's having a rough time, there's nothing wrong with being a friend, but it needs to be kept strictly on a friendship level. If she's married, then she chose to attach her self, her self identity, and her public identity to this man. By shitting on him, and her marriage, you are by necessity treating her with the same disregard. This could only end badly.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Another good advice: always end one relationship before starting another. She isn't divorced yet, no matter how much you think they talk about it. I believe you genuinely care about her, but she is off limits. You will only end up hurt if you get yourself involved in this, and it will be a messy situation. She needs to be through separation and have the divorce finalized before she can see anyone else.
You don't want to be her lover, and her affair on the side, do you? Seek out a woman who can give you her full attention, and not split it between you and her husband.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): Yes. It's wrong
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): I think that you need to sit back and see what happens. She may sort things out with her husband if this happens then you will have to keep looking but if they do finish then give it some time before jumping straight into things with this woman
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Good advice: STAY OUT OF IT. PERIOD.
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