A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 28 years old man and my wife is of the same age. Well, she is from a different country and we met each other when i had been to her country for some work. Well it wasnt love at first sight but we eventually fell for each other. At that time i knew that she had some past but never had guts to discuss about that. well now 3yrs down the marriage and a child at house, i've started getting eager about knowing her past. Actually she had told me everything about her past shortly after our marriage but now i would like her to talk things in details cos most of the relations she had were with foreigners who were much more solid financially and physically than me. i want her talk to me about all her intimate moments with them but she wouldnt accept to talk those things again. she says that i should stop thinking about those things cos they dont mean anything to her but i keep insisting. we end up having fights and not talking to each other for days. is it wrong to know her past in details so that i can forget them. i dont know how to deal with this and i feel like completely left out.please help me.........
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): ~WHAT'S THE POINT?~Your past is your past...good, bad and otherwise...I am with you now so obviously it is now that matters...so if you want to share with me, please keep it light...and if some deep shit surfaces from your past in the future, then will stand strong hand in hand with one another and journey through it together....So in other words...don't expect me to ask...however if you feel the need to than fine...((Just so long as you don't do so with an intentional goal of hurting me)).God Bless.
A
male
reader, soon567  +, writes (24 December 2010):
I always say that if their past is there business than leave them with their past. You on the other hand need to be more honest with your spouse and tell her why you want to know it.“Actually she had told me everything about her past shortly after our marriage” she already told you and now you need to tell her the truth. Recognize what you really feel and express it to her. My girlfriend now can tell me anything that cross her mind without fear. “i want her talk to me about all her intimate moments with them” You should get the courage to tell her why you want to know. Here’s why you want to know. It’s turning you on in your mind. That the woman you’re with was did by others, you get a hard-on thinking about it. You wonder did she love it. How many times that he organism her? Was he more of a man their then you are? Tell your wife that these things turn you on and maybe she would comply with you. Women sometimes would belittle themselves to please you, but first you need to be honest.She may call you a freak, but hey...
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A
male
reader, JustinNki +, writes (24 December 2010):
 BRO
...
I dont even know where to start.
Im the same, Im the type of guy who wants to know EVERYTHING, know every deatil.
But Im promising you, well if your like me... Knowing these details will satisfy a small part of you, but it MIGHT just make things worse.
I always have bad images in my head of my current girlfriend and the boys shes had in her past.
Its not a pretty site and doesnt make me feel any better.
Just torturing myself.
think about it, and shes smart for keeping it personal.
But then again, maybe sharing these details might make things more interesting in your relationship...
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 December 2010):
 What ever do you want to hear all the gory details of your wife's past for? What good will it do you? Or her, for that matter?
You say she already told you everything shortly after you got married, but doesn't want to discuss them now. Can't say I blame her; she's quite right to tell you to stop thinking about it.
Don't know if you hope to get some sort of second-hand thrill from hearing intimate details, or if you want to give her a hard time over past boyfriends - which is basically none of your business, by the way, since it happened BEFORE you and she started dating.
For heavens sake, leave well enough alone! Respect the fact that she does not want to rehash all that, and find something more healthy to think about!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): It's none of your business, unless she wants to share that. Knowing isn't going to help you to "forget" It will just make you think about it more. It seems like you are trying to cause problems in your marriage. If she doesn't want to share that with you, then respect her wishes. She chose to be with you, so be happy, love her, love yourself and live your life for today, not thinking of the past.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): While it may not be wrong for you to know her past in detail, the fact is its not completely necessary. She is with you and you have a child and a house and are amusingly happy. if she is not comfortable talking about it just let her know if she ever does want to talk about it your there to listen, but i don't think something like this should cause fights that last for days, nobody can change the past you can only do whats right in the present. also, i do question ( please don't take offence) why is it that you so badly want to know? Even if the men had more money or better bodies etc. she chose you! live, love and let go!
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (24 December 2010):
 I generally think it's a terrible idea to discuss sexual history in a relationship. Probably, even worse to discuss it in a marriage. What value could those mental images bring? Past knowing the risk of of S.T.D.'s, which you seem to be passed, it offers no advantage. I think you have to accept that your wife has the right idea, and she is telling you the truth. Whatever happened in the past, she choose to be with you now, and she respects your relationship too much to degrade it with irrelevant comparisons.
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A
female
reader, @lala  +, writes (24 December 2010):
Hmmm, if I were your wife, I think I would be angry too. Not angry actually, but more curious why you want to know? You have married her, so better to move on, than stay stuck because of stories from the past. You have to understand, talking about our past sometime hurts us. That's why we don't want to discuss it.Me, I have a French bf. Before I had Africans. I prefer to keep it, if it will make my bf jealous. You know Africans are much better in making love. Maybe your wife is afraid that you will be jealous about this. Just be positive..
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