A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am a 13 year old boy. In school, my P.E teacher (who is in his twenties...or thirties) is a close family friend. He comes round my house often and we all get along really well. He favours me over the other boys and he treats me like a really good mate. He is always asking my opinion on girls and we have this game where we rate the girl that walks past. He is also really into sports (obviously) and is proud to call me manly and sporty. The thing is, I am gay and I fancy the pants off of him. I know that it is just a crush but I am afraid when I'm around him. Like when we shower after going swimming. What if he sees me taking a peek? I know he'd be dissapointed if he found out I was gay. And probably embarassed. Is it wrong to fancy my teacher, especially since he is the same sex and a lot older? And what should I do about it?Please please help!Thanks...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Well I know what kind of thing you're going through. As you've seen, lots of people are going to tell you that it's weird for you to like someone so much older, and that you don't know that you're gay at so young. Lots of people do see themselves as gay and change their mind, but some people just know from the beginning. I've known that I'm gay for 14 years, but that doesn't mean that I'm the usual case or anything. And about the fact of the age difference. I don't think that it truly matters, but you have to realize that if he likes you back and acts on it, he would get in huge trouble if anyone were to know about it. And other than the fact that it's illegal, just think about what other people would think if they heard that a teacher had a sexual affair with a minor who happens to be their student! It would be bad for him, and even though you could get out of most of the trouble, he couldn't. So don't take this as a "DON'T DO IT!" just use your best judgement, and be willing to accept that it might not work out no matter how you feel. Life just sucks like that sometimes.
A
female
reader, HeskimaCerita  +, writes (4 January 2010):
I'm not going to insult you by saying that this is an easy one... You shouldn't tell him, many people can't handle guys who like guys, for some weird reason. All I'd say, is that it's possible to crush on guys without being gay. I've crushed on girls before when I was around 12-13 and it scared the hell out of me because I didn't want to tell my parents. Later on, I realised that I'm not gay, straight or bi. I'm attracted to good people and by the looks of it, so are you. Don't label yourself this early on, it only encourages other people to do the same. It's not a big deal, loads of people have wanted a dude before, but a lot of them are too insecure to admit it, even to themselves! Good luck! Xx
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A
male
reader, paulofessex +, writes (4 January 2010):
 As far as l see it, having a crush on the guy is nothing to uncommon however you have to face the harsh fact that nothing will ever come of it not only due to the ages but he has so much to lose i.e. career if he did become involved with a person under 16-17 years (male or female)
My main concern is really about your comment 'And I refer to myself as gay because I really wish I wasn't' l feel you need to find sensible advice and support regarding your feelings otherwise it will drive you mad and have a negative effect on various issues within your life.
Have a search on your local or county councils website for a BLAG (Bi-Lesbian,Gay) youth group where you will get advice and support
Please let us know how you get on
Best wishes
Its easy to say that at 13 a boy doesn't know if they are gay or not, well l beg to differ, and we need to ensure that young lads get proper advice and support to at least enable them to express themselves in a safe enviroment and if it does transpire that they are gay then they again gain the support to be able to be themselves, life is hard enough without having to go through life lying about who you are
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering. I think you are right about the 'not telling him' part ;)
And I refer to myself as gay because I really wish I wasn't and I think I should just face the facts, instead of lying to myself and being dissapointed later on in life.
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A
female
reader, kayxlovesxjamiex +, writes (4 January 2010):
 whatever you do DO NOT TELL HIM!
reason why:
1. it would make him stop coming round to see your family
2. he would tell your parents
3. i think its just your hormones! how can you know that your gay 4 sure at 13? youve more than likely never experiencd a woman (or a man!)
4. hed feel uncomfortable around you, and stop going swimming with you and stuff
5. if your nervous hes going to catch you, then DONT LOOK!!!
good luck chick :)
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