A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Im 16 and my gf is 14. This past weekend, over a kinda lame misunderstanding, she almost broke up with me and after that was cleared up, the next day, out of impulse, she was messin with me about leavin me. After i cried and over reacted both times, we were all good. My problem is that i over react too much, and i feel like i get too clingy sometimes; like i'll get upset if she doesnt comment me back on myspace, and just dumb stuff like that. This is just the way i am, but is it wrong to be clingy?
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female
reader, purplecloud03  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 i was like that with my ex, and it pushed him away from me and so i had to cut back. it affected us greatly and after that i was always worried i was too much for him. and i agree its just showing you love them too much. but clingy is defined by your partner. if your partner is ok with the amount of love you show them and care for them then its not whereas it might be with another person. im now with a guy that shows me as much love as i do. alot of people would say its a bit obsessed but we are both so very comfortable and love to get messgaes from each other and if we either forget about messaging back or something we just apologise and move on. so if its your personality then i dont thinking your girlfriend is the right girl for you. you are going to feel surpressed and not know how to act because you wont be being yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): I wouldn't call it "wrong." If it's a personality trait of yours, it's a personality trait of yours. You might want to work on it, though, and she might want to work on her attitude.My husband used to pull the "I'm gonna divorce you" card during arguments if I was ignoring him, or something like he'd say he'd divorce me if I ignored him. Well I ignored him again. Guess what? He didn't divorce me. I also told him something in the terms of "Bring it on," because I knew he wouldn't. We talked about it, made some boundaries, and he's stopped pulling that crap since. She needs to learn to treat you better.I'm wondering if your clinginess is a result of not being treated the way you deserved to be treated. (Not necessarily from her but from former gfs.) You need to be treated well anyways, but I'm just saying she may cause you to become more clingy if she keeps it up.
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A
female
reader, sunny123  +, writes (27 April 2009):
It sounds to me like your g/f knows that you are "clingy" and loves being able to manipulate your emotions! She seems to be "testing" your love. Be making you cry she is reassuring herself that you care enough about her to cry.I think you'll find she is actually very insecure herself. You need to tell her that her behaviour is making you upset and that if she contimues to threaten to leave you one day you'll stop reacting to it. Believe me it will happen...you know what they say about the boy who cryed wolf!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Firstly, i would like to excuse the word "wrong" and replace it with "annoying"
Clingy is a term in itself meaning "too much" or "excessive." Just as..
overly dramatic, morbidly obese, underweight.
Clingy is a words for "too much lovin'!"
Tone it down a notch and let the girl breathe..
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 I wouldn't say its wrong, but it can eventually drive someone crazy. Why do you think you're like that? Do you trust her? Do you have a reason not to? Do you have trust issues?
Sounds like things need to be sorted. Also, I don't know why your gf would mess with you about leaving you, that's an awfully delicate subject to just mess around with, especially if she knows you're sensitive about it.
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