A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I have a problem. I'm a straight female who I think has feelings for her male straight best friend. I think about pete* him all the time and we talk everyday, he's always been there for me and just recently I think i've realised that I may have feelings for him; more than just a friendship. The problem is at the moment i'm not sexually attracted to pete*, Iv'e had dreams about kissing him though, so i dont know what that means. He's really shy and I think possibly part of me wants to be his girlfriend because I feel sorry for him, but I also think his shyness is kinda cute!! Anyway, people have told me that he likes me as more than a friend, and all signs indicate this way. I recently kissed his best friend (big drunken mistake) and he got very jealous. In the past he has almost tried it on with me, we are always flirting, the other day I looked over at him giving me a sort of longing look, and we've had a few of thoes akward/cute moments. He also broke up with a girl at uiversity recently because he was 'still in love with a girl at home.' Pete* is really shy and so am I when it comes to talking about my feelings, a friend said to me that prehaps pete* only thinks all I could ever see him of is as a friend, so thats why he says nothing. I really dont know where to take it, if I can tell him how I feel. I also don't know whether this is all just because i've never had a boyfriend before and am going to university soon, am I prehaps just looking for a boyfriend? I dont want to seem like i'm leading him on or being cruel beacause I actually dont know how he feels about me. I also dont want to ruin a great friendship. I do really think we could make each other so happy and I cant imagine him not my life. I feel like I need more of him than just a friend, he's the ideal guy in almost every way. So I need some advice on if I REALLY do have feelings for him as more than a friend, If I should say anything and how I can find out if he feels the same way. I need some help!! thanks guys
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best friend, broke up, drunk, flirt, jealous, kissing, never had a boyfriend, shy, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is I do think A LOT about this guy, I DO like the person inside, and I do care about him. In fact I think i'm in love with the person inside.Recently whenever i'm around him I feel so nervous and shy, and I caught myself asking my friend if I looked ok just before we met him. However, whenever I think of him in a sexual way it feels strange. I really dont feel like I can just tell him I love him or that I think about him all the time. This akwardness about this is so ridiculous!! I feel that in time I could see him in a sexual way possibly, who knows?! I thought the idea about telling him of my dream was a good idea! Thanks for the responses guys its been so so helpful!
A
female
reader, sunny123 +, writes (27 April 2009):
This is a difficult one, because you are risking what sounds like a really good friendship if you decide to take things further. I think you should talk to him about your dream in a lighthearted way and see what his reaction is. You will be able to tell if he sees the dream as a good/bad thing. If he responds negatively then you can laugh it off and quickly change the subject thus saving your dignity.The one thing I wouldn't do would be to get drunk and sleep with him. This is because a) This is no guarantee he wants a long-term relationship b)It may make your friendship awkward c) He might think he can have a repeat performance with no-stringsGood Luck!
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