A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so...i worked for a prison this year and...well i got acquainted with an inmate a year older than myself who is serving a two year sentence. i quit at the prison because it was not my type of job, i hated twelve hour shifts and working overnight. so my question is....i keep in contact with that offender and he is due to get out in october. is it wrong of me to even be talking to him on this level? we never had a relationship in that way when i worked there due to the possibilty of being walked off. please do not be rude. but opinions are welcome. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (9 July 2013):
He basically told you he doesn't consider what he did as bad. Stop and think about what that means for a moment.
- He broke into his parents house. That means he probably didn't have a key. For his parents to turn him in, there must have been past history of abuse on his side. Remember, most families try to deal with their issues in-house first before actually notifying the authorities. He was past that point.
- He did it for weed. At what point does one become desperate enough to break into his parents' property to get drugs? When you're addicted, that's when. Weed may seem like a lowbrow drug. The problem is that over the years the doses have become more concentrated. Basically, 10 grams of weed now is much, much stronger than it was in the 70's.
Lastly, and this is the most important part: the fact he doesn't consider himself a 'real criminal' and basically downplays his crimes (he probably doesn't agree with his 2 year sentence) means he's much more likely to exhibit such behavior again when he gets out.
Guys who fully admit their mistakes and don't try to make them less significant than they are deserve a second chance (even if you have to keep a close eye on them). This guy however, he hasn't learned from it yet. I'd put him in the 'I'll be more careful next time' category rather than the 'I'll never do it again' one.
Do what you want, but please do not think lightly of this. You're young and naive and you'll be easily manipulated. Be aware of this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhes been there less than two years..he wrote me and said he doesnt feel like a true criminal. he broke into his moms house and stole their weed, when he was 17, and got arrested. atleast it wasnt a heinous crime. maybe im wrong but i want to continue communicating with him. thanks everybody
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 July 2013):
 In prison is an artificial environment. It is not like the real world. Some prisoners are very manipulative and devious and may have committed many smaller crimes before they are finally jailed.
Prisoners look for easy targets and a younger pretty employee would be a very vulnerable target. Please don't look on him as innocent. He was sent to jail for a reason. Prisoners usually mix with other similar individuals when they are released.
By even giving him the time of day you are giving him an expectation that the moment he gets out he will find you available and able to offer him a place to stay.
RUN, don't walk, away from the situation. Sit in Court a few times. Listen to the litany of crimes people have committed in the past when they come before the Courts again for their next sentence.
Find yourself a guy who has never set foot in a prison and lives his life so that he never will need to go to jail.
Even if, visually, the guy looks good that will not help you.
Cute fades.
Even if he promises that he's get work, that will not help you.
To a criminal telling lies is often what they cannot do without. They think they are "winning" when they lie.
Liars can tell lies very easily.
Even if he wants to borrow your card and your pin that will not help you.
Millions of women are cheated by good looking manipulative guys who will promise you the world and then leave you with a massive SAD (sexually acquired debt)
There is only one proviso that I can think of and that is where a person is held because they cannot afford bail and they are considered a risk but then when they come to court they are found not guilty. BUT two years? No that sounds more like a sentence to two years for a serious crime.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): Depends on the crime, OP and it depends on what type of criminal background he has.
Two years in jail at his age is a pretty serious crime.
OP there's nothing ethically or morally wrong with being his friend now, but you're probably asking for trouble.
He got time for some serious shit, just don't be one of these fools who either think that makes him sexy or that you feel motherly and protective, in essence pity him.
Just be smart about it OP. A violent criminal, a burglar, major drug offence those are the types of things that a person gets that kind of sentence for. Be careful, even if you're one of these church going, charitable people that believes everyone deserves a second chance, you have to be smart.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 July 2013):
 It was surely wrong and unprofessional ( and also risky, you are lucky you did not get caught and kicked out ! ) starting and developing a personal bond with an inmate while you were working in the jail , ( and it does not matter if it was just friendly or platonic, when you wark in a jail, in ANY capacity, you are supposed to do your job WITHOUT befriending the inmates or getting chummy with them). But, now that you do not work there anymore and you do not have professional / ethical obligations toward them, I'd say you can do what you want, you are not different from all those ladies who get pen pals inmates and exchange correspondence , and I am told there are a lot.
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