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Is it wrong for me to fancy women.

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Question - (3 February 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi. Is it wrong for me to fancy women? I oome from a catholic background and both my parents are against the idea of it. I enjoy sex with men, but I imagine that I'm with a woman.

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A female reader, shadowcat United States +, writes (3 February 2008):

shadowcat agony auntHey,

I also come from a Catholic background; I see nothing wrong with two ladies together (in fact I shouldn't, as my sister is currently dating a woman.)

I guess I know for a fact that a person can be gay and Catholic and still be a good person-I've had a front row seat.

I think in this case, the Church has completely missed the boat. (I have a hunch Pope Benedict would choose 13th century manuscripts over a night out with a special lady and since he is over eighty may not be the best guy to talk to about modern dating anyway.) Love is not dictated by what gender you are, but whom you connect with. (Interestingly it was only when Paul of Tarsus started railing against it did it become a problem.)

I do, however, think that if you are exclusively attracted to girls you should not lead a man on: it could hurt him terribly. (He may fall in love with you but you may desire something more, a bad position to put yourself in.) Ask yourself: which am I attracted to more, emotionally/physically? If you are attracted to both, you should be honest with yourself, any current person you are dating, and, when you are ready....your parents. If they cannot accept you as you are then there is little you can do, but it would sure beat living a lie or (very possibly) finding yourself in an unwanted marriage ten years from now. Remember that it is unlikely that EVERYONE you know will reject you. You can't win 'em all, but you can't lose them all either.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Devilish Angel United States +, writes (3 February 2008):

Devilish Angel agony auntIt is my deep faith that some people are born to love people of their own sex. Maybe its a form of birth control and population control. I see nothing wrong in wanting to be with a woman if you're a woman and the same goes for a guy. God loves you. He knows you better than any other person. If God saw something wrong with gay people, He would have allowed catastrophe to destroy them. So don't worry and trust your instincts even when everyone says you're wrong.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008):

i dont think you fancy them,but may find them attractive an the idea of sex with a woman is a turn on for you.im happly marrried to a wonderful guy but from time to time i will let a woman lick me out as i enjoy being licked out by both my husband and women as they enjoy me,but i wont lick another woman,tried it and didnt enjoy it,shows im not a lesbian just like oral sex

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