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Is it usual for the boyfriend to say I Love You more? I was the first to say it and still say it the most...

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *ammer69 writes:

Me and my GF have been together for almost months and two weeks now. well to start i said I love you first. I don't know Y but I did. we had only been together like a week or two at the most. and she was very excited i said it and surprised I said it first. but I've noticed that I say it a lot and she hardly ever says it unless she thinks she is in trouble with me or I say it first. So is it normal for the guy to say it more then the girl or is it that I'm just more willing to open up to her? Another question on a similar note. When does that initial love and excitement of being in a relationship with some one start to dwindle? I noticed that it finally started to kinda dwindle around our six month mark. I noticed that sometimes the draw I had to go and see her has lessened and the pure happiness I had when ever I was with her has lessened but i still can't seem to get her out of my mind and i still always miss her. So does anyone out there know the answer or know what the heck is going on with me?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (24 December 2011):

Miamine agony auntThat's the way it happened to me.. just popped out of my mouth, didn't think about it, I just said the words. If I say something I mean it, so I didn't worry. Guy didn't say anything back, but I didn't expect him too.

If I love you, that's my feelings, that's what's in my heart. Loving is not a competition, it's not like a present where I don't give you something until I get something back. That's not love that is horse trading. I love you, and if you treat me good and I'm happy I will stay. It doesn't if you don't love me back, you can't force your feelings. If I love you and you treat me bad, well I will go, because I can love you from afar and find someone else to treat me nice.

Loving someone is what you feel, you don't love them less if you can't tell them. Took my dad 30years to tell me he loved me. But it didn't mean I didn't feel the love, in the everything he did for me.

The guy, lol, yep, he said I love you eventually, think it took him two weeks. That was nice, but a hell of a lot less important than the way he held me, the way he phoned me every day, the way he made me feel that I was the most important thing in his world... even now, we are finished, and the love still remains...

I love you is just words, some people can say them all the time to everyone. What matters is, does this girl make you feel special, do you feel like she needs you as much as you need her.

And yes, relationships cool down after time.. I'm lucky mine didn't, but most relationships do. It's to do with the adrenaline and chemicals love and romance create in the brain. Initial love is known as a type of temporary madness, it has to calm down or nobody would ever get any work done.

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A male reader, mammer69 United States +, writes (24 December 2011):

mammer69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well I said it because i felt it and even i was a little surprised i said it as fast as I did. The words just came to me and I kinda said them before i even realized it. but i really ment it and i still say it to her and mean it every time. I don't think it freaked her out for me to say it we knew each other for like 4 and a half years before hand. I didn't say it just to get in her pants. we had been together like 8 months before hand and it didn't work then,bad timing. but if it had been me just wanting to get laid i would have stuck around and (as they say) hit it and quit it. But I'm not that kind of guy. If you are both looking for it go right a head but to trick some one into having sex with you is wrong in my opinion. but y worry about me saying it so early. i know she loves me and she knows i love her. We can see it in each others eyes every time we look into them. But the thing about not having sex every chance we get. that isn't going to stop if i have anything to say about it. Half the time i can't look at her and not think a dirty thought, the other time I look at her and go "How in the hell did i end up with such a great girl?" But still Y worry I said it so soon?

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A female reader, AriSa Canada +, writes (23 December 2011):

I waited for too long before saying it even though I felt it the first...and now we are having trouble over the time when we didn't say it. I'm not saying that our problems only have to do with those three words, but I think that if I did tell him how I felt, we won't be like this now. It all depends on the person, but I think those words are extremely powerful so I normally wait until the other one feels the same to say it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIt was in my last relationship. Now I said it first and I say it more. I think it depends on the person. As for what’s going on with you, you’re settling down into a long term relationship where you want the person, you love them, care about them and want to be with them but reality and life intrude… vacation time is over and real life is here now…

This was what happened for us… we loved being together and wanted to be together full time… I think of him often and he thinks of me… we moved in together and we see each other every day but we no longer have sex every chance we get, I do go to dinner with girlfriends, he games at night on his MMO no (he gave it up for 6 months in our relationship his choice, my urging sent him back to it as it makes him happy)….

My only concern is you said the L word so EARLY in the relationship….

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