A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I wouldn't say I fall for people easily or get attached quickly. I always keep my guard up. But I began to fall for someone and he admitted to me too that he was starting to fall in love with me. But now he's cut me out of his life completely, and now it's me that seems to care more. Whereas before it was him always trying to make an impression.I was seeing him for a while, we had some really good times out and were dating.We spoke everyday.He's the only person I've ever came close to getting intimate with.This was the closest to a relationship I've ever been in.I didn't give too much away about myself and played it relatively cool.The last time I seen him was Friday, I spoke to him briefly and through the rest of the night we kept our distance and did our own thing (he had his arm round another woman and was getting drunk) but I continued to have my own fun. He was complaining to my friend that I wasn't talking to him, but there was no effort coming from him either.I text him a couple of days later wishing him the best in the new year but no reply.About a week ago he was saying that I'm the person he wanted to kiss on New Years and I'm the one he wanted to spend the rest of next year with and who knows. He also said I'll make your first time special. So I was made to believe that he wanted to take this somewhere.He was saying I was perfect and said that he was falling in love with me.But if he did wouldn't he be trying to get me back?He updated his status with "Hope I can find a nice girl that drinks and uses the word ^^^^t"Yet he said I'm the nicest person he's ever met! Why is this bothering me so much :(I feel so confused but have no idea why!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): I think he got tired of having to make all the moves and you were not reciprocating so now he's given up and moved on. Yeah I get that you had your guard up, playing it cool, etc. etc...that is all fine for the beginning when you don't know someone, but you can't expect a guy to continue to pursue you if you're not putting any effort in yourself. why should he continue to pursue someone who appears uninterested in his advances? relationships take two to tango. so I think he's probably given up now and moved on.
next time you should not play cool so much just because you're cautious or shy or underconfident. relationships require you to put yourself out there from time to time. or at least to reciprocate the other person's effort.
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