A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone I am having a problem with my parents and i'm wondering if i'm being reasonable. I'm 19 and i'm almost 36 weeks pregnant me and my fiance live with my parents we have our room and our nursery. My parents have always told me they never want me to move out just the two of them in the house there would be to much space being wasted and they would miss me. Eventually they will move downstairs and we will have the whole upstairs. The problem is the parents are saying "you can't raise a baby in your room she has to spend a lot of time in the living room" There demanding that once she's here she needs to be out there a lot and honestly we don't want her in the living room at all because its disgusting. They have 3 dogs there all really old, the lab is so out of it he poops in the living room and then eats it right after he pees when you call him or try to make him leave a room he is constantly drooling and shaking his head nonstop and he goes on the furniture out there and stinks. They also have 2 cats that leave fur all over the furniture in there. I don't know why they don't understand. Do you think it's reasonable that i don't want our daughter in the living room? Thank you.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (8 July 2014):
 It is neither wise nor hygienic to have Baby upstairs in isolation or downstairs in utter fur and poop filth... For all concerned, when you can afford it, hopefully sooner than later, you find your own apartment near your Parents; before baby starts to walk.
Meanwhile the Parents and especially your Fiancé can clear out a small space, vacuum and sanitise an area suitable for the baby to be in a stroller crib bassinet etc. If not and your Parents prefer poop and clutter to having Baby, then baby doesn’t come into the lounge on the floor – period!
Naturally animals will want to sniff any new arrival into their area, germs are natural to build immunity in the body; having a place sterile can be just as bad as filth!? But this chaos of filth is nonsense, be one an Animal Lover or bystander (as I am).
Talk to your Parents again and again as babysitting with them won’t be an option either... If they find adjusting all too inconvenient or harsh to comprehend, then it’s time to leave the nest – ASAP.
Take Care of Baby – CAA
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 July 2014):
 No, I don't think you are wrong, but I DO think you need to consider finding a place of your own before you baby gets mobile. Once they start to crawl/walk/roll they get into EVERYthing.
And while it might be nice to have build-in baby sitters by living with your parents, living with them 24/7 when you have your own family might NOT be what YOU and YOUR partner wants.
Dog poo, drool, dog & cat hair, maybe even some parasites is NOT a great think for a little one to roll around in.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): You are not being unreasonable at all... even though being in an environment like that on occasion, particularly when young, is a good way to develop immunities.
Flynn 14
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 July 2014):
 No, with due respect to all animal lovers , I don't think you are unreasonable at all ! When your baby will start crawling, what is it supposed to do, crawl over dog shit and dog pee ?! I would not want my baby to live like this, and , regardless of babies, I would not wish this living environment for anybody, with or without babies, because it's just - unlivable.
The problem is that yes , even raising baby in your bedroom / nursery isn't such a great idea, it's very confining both for you and babay, it would drive you nuts and it could be Ok for the first months of life, but as soon as they start crawling / attempting to walk, they NEED to explore the world outside of just the 4 walls of their room, it's a mental development need, not just a motory one.
I understand that living rent free , and with mom always there ready to help ,is a big enticement, but, to be frank, I think that being grown up and founding a new family, should also involve getting your own place and space to live. If the only reasons to stay is that your parents don't want to "waste space ", and that they would miss you- the first can easily be solved by turning the extra bedrooms into something useful, a library or a gym room or a playroom for when baby comes over and visit , and the second is just normal,typical parental selfishness, forgivable and understable yet still selfishness- they should be HAPPY to see you spread your wings and become self sufficient !
Anyway, if you are sure you are not moving, be firm. Be thankful for their assistence, be polite, be kind but be absolutely firm in telling how it's going to be. You are the mother of the baby, and motherhood is not a democracy, is a (benign ) dictatorship . You get to choose the hygienic conditions that you see fit for your own baby.
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