A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i don't know what has happened? Before I left university for christmas everything was great and I was sad to go home and excited to get back here.. But now i'm back I find that I don't want to spend as much time with my flatmates as before, I've not gone to university all week, I don't really care for anyone in my halls/university. My nights out aren't as exciting or fun as they were and the city isn't amazing in my eyes anymore... It's as if i'm someone else? It's horrible.In fact, i'm thinking of going home next weekend because I feel lost and slightly unhappy here and i'm not sure what happened between the time I was at home to now?! Only on saturday last week was I missing it here and eager to get back! Being at university IS my second home and even thinking about it, nothing has changed, nothing is different in any way.. Which is why i can't make sense of why I feel like this and why i'm acting this way?Can anybody help me make sense of what is going on here....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): this sounds pretty typical. this normally happens in your second or third year of uni...all you want to do is leave and never look at a text book again. by your sixth year though you grow to love it again and you don't want to leave ever.... you seem like you are in the early stages, so you are probably just a bit homesick and had such a nice time at home, that reality seems particularly harsh. However, just remember, you need to grow up and be an adult now, you can't just move back home and live with you parents because its nicer and easier. if you are unhappy with your living situation, do something about it, and throw your energy into your course work so you don't have time to mope
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (16 January 2012):
 Hello,
I think I might understand what is happening with you. University is like a 3 or 4 year time span. And You had started and then built up to the xmas holidays and all the fun and excitement that goes with it. You sort of build up to a great moment and then you leave for the holidays,(maybe 3 weeks) friends, family, home, etc. Suddenly, you get back after the xmas period and get "the blues." All of a sudden without knowing it you have to push through 4 months of what you did before xmas. It is at these times that degrees and champions are made. It is the days and weeks in mid january and february when it is cold and dark and nothing is going on that the degree course seems to last forever and ever. Don't despair, just keep going through this and you will soon be at Easter. Easter is fun and a lot to look forward to. When you have your degree, you will find it the "blues" times when your degree was earnt. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (16 January 2012):
 Id think youre home sick which is pretty normal. That is common among ppl esp if they grew up in a one and only town their whole lives and then suddenly, they go away for college and are in a sense, forced to adjust to its surroundings and culture. What I would try to do to adjust, for starters, is to develop the same habits you did at home. For example, did you go to a starbucks often? or certain bookstore to hang for the afternoon? go to those same bookstores and coffee shops in ur college town. Food too. Make the same foods if you can at your dorm that you enjoyed at home. Find little things doll to adjust your routine too. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (16 January 2012):
 It sounds like your going through a down period... a period where it doesnt matter where you are, what your doing,
your feeling depressed.
Its natural to go through stages like this, everyone suffers a little depression sometimes and its good you realised you have an issue. This is the first step in a change.
Focus on the good things at uni, do what makes you feel comfortable there, take each day as it comes and try to enjoy it!
This is your university life, you will never be able to live these years again, so enjoy your youth!
Try your best to get through this and whatever thoughts it is that keeping you down you can always find the best in every place / situation.
Hope this helps.... it can get better if you want it too!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): I think you're having trouble adjusting, not everyone deals with change so easily. I'm sure you miss your family and friends back home and also other aspects of home life.
I know how you feel and a lot of friends I have at uni are saying they want to go back home/can't wait for the holidays. It's pretty normal. Which is why if you actually want to continue with your university course, I'd suggest not going home at the weekend, otherwise it will make this feeling worse and you won't get used to being back at uni.
I'd give it another 2, maybe 3 weeks and if you're still feeling like this then there may be deeper problems but until then just try to stick it out and go to your lectures.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, SonOfMan  +, writes (16 January 2012):
 I'm guessing this is your first year? Well, it happens to a lot of people and I had exactly the same experience. I still do in fact, even though I left university many years ago and now live with my partner. I never went back to live with my family!It's exiting at first because it's a new experience and there are many distractions which take your mind off things. Especially the fact that you are on your own and have to fend for yourself.It's only when you get back to the home life that you realise how much you miss that lifestyle of being looked after in a homely environment surrounded by people you are familiar with, especially around Christmas or other holidays which tend to bring people together in a spirit of happiness.Going back to the university life will seem like a different world after that and things which you would get excited about now appear dull and uninteresting. This is natural, unless however, there are other things on your mind.Try to find the routine you were happy with before you left, make an effort with your friends and find out if they feel the same. A good friend will talk to you openly about stuff like this and it will make it easier. University life is an emotional roller coaster and the more honest you are with your feelings, the more you talk about stuff with people who are willing to listen, the easier and more enjoyable it will be.Maybe try something new, like join a gym, a club or university association to give you a goal. Volunteer at a place to give you something new to think about and a new challenge to make it more exciting. Also talk to your family during these times for support and reassurance. Try to tackle this head on with determination as it will give you great experience later on in life.These kinds of difficulties are a test of our character and will prove to be very useful in the future.
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