A
female
age
36-40,
*raina
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me almost 4 months ago. He told me he did not know if he loved me anymore, or if he ever did. He had a ring ready to purpose to me but then gave it back, we had been together one month shy of two years. About a week and a half went by and we didn't talked. Then we started talking again, hanging out, texting all day, sitting together for meals. But then we had a huge fight a month later and he told me "It was my personality" (aka always mad at him) and that he "doesn't want to be with me, for now" he keeps saying "for now" "for now"...I said "either we work on getting back together or I walk out of your life." he said "if I have to choose, I pick the second one, for now." I thought things were going good we kept texting "good morning" and things like that. He accepted a rose I gave him and more. He broke up with me because we fought a lot, the most important thing in his life is his roommate/bestfriend and I was always shoved to the back. I still love him and we were great together until his roommate became depressed and cutting himself, then John took it upon himself to babysit his roommate, and I got shoved away. I sometimes felt I was dating two men because everywhere we went he had to come, he stopped hanging out with me as much and sometimes I would create fake arguments just to keep him around longer.Please help me, I've been crying everyday, several times a day, for almost four months. I don't know what to do, I miss him so much, I love him more than anything. How can I get back into his life? His heart? There's a lot on my plate and if you need more info I can say more.
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broke up, depressed, roommate, shy, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (16 January 2012):
When someone uses a generality like "people", you need to RUN.
Good thing something like this happened BEFORE you decided to get married or have kids.
Its not his roommates fault, its HIS. We all come into bad situations in our life or come across bad people. Its how we deal with those situations and people that define us.
Your man failed, I am sorry to say. Better you find this out now.
A
female
reader, Lraina +, writes (16 January 2012):
Lraina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOur relationship was so wonderful before his roommate barged in and ruined it. We never argued until his roommate became depressed. We were always together and happy. But then his roommate became depressed and would cut himself if he didn't spend time with him, which never let us have time together. I was always mad because I wanted to be with him. His roommate got mad at me because I was "trying to break up their friendship." No, I just wanted to make my relationship better.
I have tried and tried to forgive his roommate but I cannot. Most if not all of our problems stemmed from him. I would say 95% of our arguments were about him.
He said he would not hang out with him as much this year, what a lie, they are still inseparable. It makes me sick, his roommate even has a fiance and he'd rather hang out with him.
However now that I am out of the picture, she is around them all the time.
He kept saying "people say we are a bad couple"
I have a feeling these people were his roommate and his roommates fiance.
His roommate says he never said that, but I don't think I can believe him further than I can throw him, which isn't far.
We were so close until then. So close, irrespirable.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (16 January 2012):
To specifically answer your question, it looks like the way to his heart is to become depressed and start cutting yourself, because obviously that is what gets his attention. That is NOT advice, just the logical conclusion based on the facts you are giving. Here you are, someone who wants to love him and he makes someone who is a liability to him his first priority in life.
Indecision is a characteristic of insanity. This "for now" stuff is pure garbage. He can't make up his mind about marrying you. Now you are caught in his insanity.
Find someone who can make up his mind and if there is one thing I have learned in my years, is that you don't just get involved with a person, you get involved in their entire situation in life. You really have to put someone in their context. Best of wishes to you.
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