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Is it true that people that only go out with good looking people get hurt eventually?

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Question - (4 September 2007) 26 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *ommy2k7 writes:

Is it true that people who only go out with good looking get hurt eventually, than the people who choose personality over looks?

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (17 September 2007):

tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tommy2k7 agony auntI know I can be a bit gullible, but she seemed so sweet at the start, back in May, don't really know what changed; maybe she planned it, maybe she didn't, maybe she just can't help herself

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (14 September 2007):

What I mean is the girl you describe uses her good looks to get what she wants. She enjoys the power she has and has no sympathy for those she preys on. Stay away, sociopaths don't often change.

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2007):

tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tommy2k7 agony auntWhen we first met, she sounded and seemed so nice, she said that she loved me (so early on?!) and wanted to be with me for a while. If I'd have carried on, I would have got more and more hurt

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2007):

tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tommy2k7 agony auntTommy

What do you actually mean?!

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (14 September 2007):

People like putting other people down because it make them feel superior. It's a demostration of their power and/or control.

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (14 September 2007):

It's a fact that good looking people get treated better and become to expect it. Now two takers and no givers makes for an doomed partnership. There are always exceptions,the say you can tell by how they treat waitresses, valets, doormen and other service people.

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2007):

hlskitten agony auntHi

I just think you are reading into it too much. Im guilty of that myself at times! I dont think most girls intentionally get a thrill out of hurting people at all. Young girls especially are immature and they just mess people about, much the same as guys of a young age too. I dont think they do it on purpose thats for sure. But thats just my opinion.

C xxxxxx

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2007):

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tommy2k7 agony auntI didnt mean it to come out as it did! I meant why are some girls like this? Its a mystery to me how anyone would get a kick out of hurting someone emotionally

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (13 September 2007):

sexi agony auntHey

Not all girls are like this. I know that i am not like that, i would never hurt any guy intentionally. Sorry that you had an unlucky experience with one of those type of girls.

Regards

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2007):

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tommy2k7 agony auntWhy do girls do this to people? Do they get a kick out of it? I don't want anything more to do with her, and I mean it this time

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2007):

tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tommy2k7 agony auntI don't know why she'd admit it, but last night, she admitted using me for money; initially, it was for sex, but when she didnt get her own way she resorted to plan b.

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2007):

hlskitten agony auntHi

Your wasting too much thinking time on this shallow person! hehe you know that deep down. Be strong!

C xxxx

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2007):

tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tommy2k7 agony auntShe cant even give me a reason as to why she's upset with me!, another reason why I'm getting out.

Oh, how I'd like to sing Dirty Love by Thunder to her right now. If you dont know, here are the words:

I see you, walking by,

You've got that faraway look in your eye

It was only yesterday

Like a cheap suit you were all over me

I should know better by now, baby

Just what I mean to you

You've been running in and out of my life so long

I dont want nothing to do with you

I don't need your dirty love

I dont want you touching me

I dont want your dirty love

Its enough trying to live with the memory

na na na na na na na

na na na na na na na na

Chew me up, spit me out

Turn my whole world inside out

There's a name for girls like you

You belong in the gutter

I know that you do

Baby I've had enough lies to last

The rest of my days on Earth

So now you're gonna get what you deserve

ah ha

I don't need your dirty love

I dont want you touching me

I dont want your dirty love

It's enough

I know they're ain't no way I'll stay

We were gonna break it up someday

And that day is now

Baby, I'm getting out

So dont you cry now, sigh now

Cos you'll be living a lie now

And I gotta run

You've been running in out of my life so long

There aint no way I'll stay

No way!

I don't need your dirty love

I dont want you touching me

I dont want your dirty love

Its enough trying to live with the memory

na na na na na na na

na na na na na na na na

Oh, dirty love

Start walking

You think you're so fly!

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (12 September 2007):

duce00 agony auntYour right to steer clear of this girl. Sorry dude, but I havnt yet seen any redeeming qualities in her yet. At her best of times she seems tollerable.

Theres so many great women in this big 'ol world. Get out there and meet one!

Duce

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2007):

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tommy2k7 agony auntI've decided that, as hard as it is, I've got to forget her. I can't keep on like this. As my sister says, every time I come back from meeting her I mope around, because she's hurt me again. I'm just fed up with her constant lying, deceiving, cheating, and hurting me.

I texted her today to ask how she was and she said 'Leave me alone or I'll tell my father'. One text and she tells me that, although I don't know whether that's a scare tactic or not. Was it?

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (10 September 2007):

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tommy2k7 agony auntI know I shouldn't have done this at all, but last week she asked me out on a date, so, we arranged to meet on Friday at Maidstone. I met her and took her to lunch in Wetherspoons.

We had a laugh about how my friends say I'm more of a woman because I dont like football and I drink Archers and Smirnoff - to that she replied You must have a very good plastic surgeon then. I got upset by this but managed to eat the rest of my meal, and she went off without even saying goodbye to me.

On Saturday I texted her saying Considering you only want to go out with good-looking blokes, I'm not surprised you get hurt. I dont know whether this was harsh or not, but 1) she didn't like it, and 2) she didn't have an answer for that one. Then she texted me and said that she was going on another date next Thursday with a bloke who's 'cute'. She may not get hurt, but its her fault really if she does.

I reckon if she only chooses good-looking guys, she'll get hurt more and more.

I really don't know what to do anymore

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

hlskitten agony auntHaha Duce you make me die. Set my nickers on fire. Your right though. The guy i probably loved the most in my life was 10 yrs older than me, was with him 10 yrs and he was average joe loooks wise to most i would say but grrrrrrrrrr to me! I also dated a guy 17 yrs older when i was 29. (he was 46) Blimey was there sexual and mental chemistry! ding dong!!! and he had white hair and crinkles :o)

Another guy was chubby and bicced (razored) his hair. And i didnt fancy him instantly but boy oh boy once i got to know him! Oh yes. Was with him 2 yrs.

Those guys were all fab fun to be with and didnt have their head up their ass basically!

Then there were the 2 that i would say most girls would think coooorrr! Apart from the fact one of them was a liar (the other was ok level headed wise) but i just didnt ever fancy them, there was no yummy factor going on :o(

There was always that, fancied themselves thing going on, and its a major turn off for me.

Only people in the Uk will know what i mean here, but on Eastenders years ago there was a choice between Grant Mitchell (balding chunky mechanic) and Steve Owen (suited n booted club manager) All the girls loved Steve Owen. Cazzy here liked Grant Mitchell!!! yes pleeeeeeeease haha

C xxxxxx

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (4 September 2007):

duce00 agony auntOk, some elaboration on what I meant by "finding out for her self".

It is my opinion and experience that looks dont count for very much all by themself. Infact, women who are stunning to look at are often less than interesting to talk to or be around. Hlskitten gave the female version of this experience. Remember the 2 goodlooking guys that didnt get her knickers nearly as on fire as the "average Joe" types? It seems like there is a rather obvious discrepancy in the looks vs. quality issue for both men and women. Your ex may not have figured this out yet but Im sure one day she will start to wonder if there is a problem with her priorities. Everybody needs to make a few mistakes before they catch on. This may be hers. Then again maybe she will be perfectly content to make this mistake and she will go on chasing one pretty boy after another for the rest of her life. Either way, SO WHAT!

The question is, why are you concerned anymore? She left you after cheating on you and your expressing concern for her poor decision making skills? Please please my boy. Kiss this lady goodbye!! You can have a perfectly wonderful life with a great woman who doesnt think like her if you just move on. I think that the responses youve gotten by the ladies here should have given you some hope. They dont think like your ex. I would bet that alot of women dont. Hate to use the old phrase but "thers more fish in the sea". Move on to a "real woman" my friend, theres plenty out there.

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A female reader, Cupcake Canada +, writes (4 September 2007):

Cupcake agony auntFrom my experiences yes. Good looking people are generally over confident and tend to be more selfish as most of the time since they think they are so special it does not matter if they hurt the person they are with because they can have someone else anytime they want.

My fiancee however is quite good looking but not very social, meaning he doesnt like bars, he doesnt drink he wants me everywhere with him... So if you can find someone like that then go for it.. but if they dont seem to put much attention on you then they really just dont care.

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tommy2k7 agony auntI've just read duce's answer; sorry to be over-analytical here, but when you say 'let her find out for herself', what do you mean exactly? (I sort of know)

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

tommy2k7 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tommy2k7 agony auntAs you know, my ex only goes for guys who are good-looking and she says she's been cheated on a lot! I think looks do matter as you said, but personality counts for a lot more. I heard a phrase once 'looks change, personality doesn't'

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (4 September 2007):

duce00 agony auntThere has been more than one question along this line of thinking lately. Im with hlskitten and probably most other people that will read this. What matters is how the chemistry is.

For example: My last girlfriend got over the strange hump on my back and my wandering eye once she got a chance to know me better. I still have problems getting a cab though :)

Sorry! Im just trying to keep some humor here! Honestly as time goes by I see less and less value in appearances. Ive noticed the same for others here as well. Dont worry about your ex. Let her figure that out on her own.

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (4 September 2007):

sexi agony auntHi

Most of the time.

I would rather chose to go out with someone that is average looking but i know is all mine then for me to go out with a stud and he would be out there for everyone else to look at. I would chose personality in conjunction with look as personality is what really counts.

Regards,mail me if you wanna talk

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

hlskitten agony auntI doubt it.

Ive only ever dated 2 'traditionally' good looking people. The others have been average joes but funnily enough the 2 best looking ones i didnt fall for and didnt fancy, the others i fancied the pants off while i was with them! Hmm i think theres a lesson in there for me somewhere! hehe but i need to figure it out.

The best looking people dont always come off any better than the ones dating them!

C xxxx

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A male reader, tommy2k7 United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

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tommy2k7 agony auntMy ex-gf went out with me, and then we broke up cos she cheated, and one day she suddenly said she wouldn't date me again because of my looks! I have a feeling she's going to get hurt because she chooses looks over personality

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntNo

Though there are shallow people who do this and yes they will get hurt in the end. As it was never suppose to be and was never right.

But there are alot of people who go out with people for there personality and these relationships are always better and last longer and are happier.

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