A
female
age
30-35,
*opelessly inlove
writes:Okay, I am inlove with a guy who likes my bestfriend and my bestfriend likes him too. Like any love story, I decided to let go of him (for them to be happy) and retain the friendship I had with my bestfriend. But why is it, my bestfriend and I always quarrel with petty things and it always end up with "our" issue with that guy? I noticed that her actions toward me after that stupid incident has changed. She became irritable with me and even my other friends who knew what happened noticed that. Because of that, I became aloof to her. We were bffs, really, and I considered her my sister since I'm an only child but her actions hurt me. To think that I gave in so much effort to look okay in front of those two even if seeing both of them hurts like hell. (I still like the guy) I already talked to her and said that I need time to think but she wouldn't allow me because she said that maybe, if she'd give me space, we wouldn't be bff's anymore. Now, we're okay but I am afraid that it will happen AGAIN. :| What should I do? Should I stay or should I leave her? Is it true that once a friendship has been damaged, it is hard to make it normal again? Please help me. I really need your advice, it would be a big help to me. Thank you :)
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female
reader, Yetilicious  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 I would just apologize, say you hate fighting with her because she is your BFF, and say you don't want to argue anymore. Work on getting over this guy, that's probably the best thing you can do for this relationship. In the meantime, I wouldn't hang around them as a couple, just go out on a girl's night with just her...never talk about your feelings about her boyfriend. This guy isn't the one for you, if he was then he wouldn't be with your best friend. I don't necessarily agree with the "Mates before dates" saying, because one day there is going to be a boyfriend that sticks around more than any of your friends...however in THIS instance, I would definitely say mates before dates. Good luck, let us know what happens!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): yes it is true that if a friendship is damaged then it is hard to make normal again but what you have to think about is:is the friendship you had before worth fighting for or has this break up between friends been on the cards for some time now and this is just her excuse to end the friendship thereyou should talk to your friend a bit more and maybe have a girls night in together also remember "MATES BEFORE DATES" because a good friend will stick around longer than a boyfriend ever will hope this helped xx
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A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (4 April 2011):
"What should I do? Should I stay or should I leave her?"I say you stay, but don't expect anything from her. Expect her being mad and jealous with you. She will see you as a competitor, and will do anything to keep her man with her."Is it true that once a friendship has been damaged, it is hard to make it normal again? "It is hard, but not impossible. I have done bad things to my friends regarding love and friendship, but somehow, my friends always gave me second, or even third chances. I really appreciate them in that regard, and I haven't ever done any other wrong which might interfere with our relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): You never explained what was the "incident" that upset your friend so much? Alright so you both like the same guy and clearly there is some jealousy going on between the two of you (maybe a little more on her part) which is normal. I also think she gets irritable because it is probably stressful for her to be in that position. She likes a guy who she knows you like as well. She probably has some guilt and conflicting thoughts going through her head about everything. And it is coming off as her lashing out at you. And no, a true friendship is reparable. You guys are BF's and it is totally important that you stick by your friend. It will all pass in due time. Friends fight, it happens. Stick it out I am certain you both can get through it and be just fine.
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