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Is it too late to be friends with him?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 February 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I met this guy at work almost two years ago, we started talking more and we became friends. Then he started asking for pictures of me and asking questions and stuff, he had a girlfriend and two kids so I felt wrong about it. Eventually I actually sent him pictures and I would answer his questions(I know it's wrong because of his girlfriend) but I did. I was a virgin and he would ask me when I was gonna let him take it and stuff like that. I did end up losing my virginity to him and then I moved 9 hours away because of some family issues. I still talked with him a lot, and he said how we'd still be friends and talk and all that. His girlfriend had their third baby in August and since then I have not talked to him, he hasn't texted me and I'm kinda too afraid to text him since it's been 6 months since we have talked.

I've been thinking about trying to text him but I'm not sure.

So I'm just kinda wondering if i should? All i want is to be friends with him, nothing else. Is it too late for that?

View related questions: at work, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your help. Honeypie as for talking with my mom, i can't as I have no clue who my "mom" is, my "parents" left when I was a baby.

But thanks again all of you.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (27 February 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntStay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,Stay away from him,

Is that clear enough?????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2015):

Stop being a homewrecker and let him and his family live their lives. He got what he wanted, your cherry. He popped it, he bounced. He has no more use for you which is why he hasn't contacted you. He'll find another gullible girl soon enough without your help. Here's a tip, stop flirting and sleeping with men that are in relationships. That's what's wrong with the world today.

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A male reader, dayvide Nigeria +, writes (26 February 2015):

dayvide agony auntI don't think you should text him.. Since he also didn't text you for months so let the friendship just go away..he probably only needed you for sex then and he got what he wanted and didn't look your side for months yet you wanna start up the friendship again? He's got a girlfriend and kids just let him be and move on with your life..

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (26 February 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt No let him be. Maybe ( maybe ! ) all you want is " to be friends with him " but , if ever he gives you the time of the day again- you'd find out he does not know what to do with your friendship and could not care less. He did not want friendship and deep connection or profound conversation with you ! He wanted your nude pics as wanking tool, and he wanted your virginity. I strongly doubt that his

" friendship " would translate into other than cyber sex or raunchy flirting.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI would say yes, it's too late.

For several reasons.

1. you do not have very clear boundaries for yourself AT all. You "think" is would not be OK to send picture because he has a partner, YET you still did it. You had SEX with him even though you KNEW that kind of thing is NOT OK.

2. this guy KNOW you just have to be pushed and you will do whatever he asks...

3. Friends DO NOT have sex with their friends.

4. this guy IS NOT looking for friendship.

I don't really think you want friendship. NONE of your actions says... "HEY I just want to be your friend". I think you miss the attention you got BEFORE he popped your cherry. Now that he "had sex" with you, he is no longer wanting to chase you. You are no longer a challenge. Plus you are too far away to be physically available to him, I'm sure he's found some other naive chick to fool around with.

The GUY is scum, OK?

Maybe you should have a talk with your mom or a good friend, talk about values, morals and how to say no.

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A male reader, mfj78 United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2015):

He was never your friend. He used you for sex and for the thrill of taking your virginity.

If he cared about others he wouldn't cheat on his partner/wife and children. If he respected you he wouldn't claim to be your friend while wanting naughty pics of you and talk about (and actually) taking your virginity. If he cared about you he wouldn't have put a young, innocent virgin into a position of doing wrong and being an accomplice in cheating on his GF and children.

You need to be more self aware to be honest. You need to appreciate that not every one who claims to be yoru friend IS your friend. No shortage of men out there willing to tell you what you want to hear about friendship who just want to use you.

Sorry but you need a reality check. Stay away from this user. You know what you did was very wrong but he "persuaded" you to do it. You need to be strong now and stop letting attached men with kids use you for sex under the guise of friendship.

Mark

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