A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with him just over a year and one month. So far the main problem has been that his first ex (whom he loved like mad) wants him back. But he says he never go back to her and loves me alot. I want to propose to him but not sure how? Cause first time he put me down saying it was too early. We need more time. And now he starting to show interest in wanting more. So I'm wondering should I propose to him? We live long distance but no more than about twenty miles. And plan to move in together in future.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Don't propose again. He's already said no once, chances are he'll say no if you ask again. Wait until you guys are in a better arrangement (i.e. not long distance). He knows you want to get married, ball is in his court now so to speak. You've only been together a little over a year, and you're still very young. Why the rush to get married? Is it because you're worried he'll go back to his ex, but being married would stop it? I figure that's why you'd mention the ex. If he was going to cheat, he would. No wedding would stop that. Chances are he's not going to though. They broke up for a reason. Things won't be that different after you guys are married, don't rush into it. Just wait a year or two until you're more settled and more certain of where your lives are taking you.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 June 2010):
 You've been dating a year and one month. That's really not very long - even though it might seem as if you've been together for ages.
No, as others have said, leave it alone at this point. He does indeed know you want to marry him, but he isn't ready. You wouldn't want to stick your neck out by proposing again, and having him turn you down, now would you?
In fact, I wouldn't be in too much of a rush to set up house together just yet. Give it another six months or more and see where you both are then. If he is really over his ex, and loves you more than her, he'll pursue you and maybe bring up the subject of marriage himself......
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 June 2010):
 If you already proposed to him once, he knows you want to marry him. But he needs more time. I believe, if he wants to marry you, and when he feels ready, he will propose himself. Be patient! You are still very young and it is easy to let feelings get the better of you and for you to rush into things. Not saying you won't ever marry him, but there is a right time and place for things. Wait for your time to come. He needed more time, and you need to be patient. If he wants to marry you he will accept a proposal, or ask you himself. If you ask him now and he is not ready you will be turned down again, and it will cause damage on the relationship.
Use this time to grow as a couple. You have already showed him how much you love him, I am sure he knows. It might also be best to wait until you are living closer to each other. Being apart as boyfriend/girlfriend is hard enough. Being apart as fiancees might be even harder. Propose when the time is right. Not now.
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A
male
reader, lowercaseq +, writes (23 June 2010):
 your deff not long distance if its only under 20 miles.. thats a 15 minute drive.. he just needs time. I think your wanting to ask him more because his ex is trying to get back with him and your afraid he might get back with her. like the person said before me . tap on them brakes a little bit . slow it down. move in with eachother first. see how things go . wait for him to talk about marriage and kids and stuff. he will give you a timeline when the time is right .
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A
female
reader, Wise Woman of the Forest +, writes (23 June 2010):
 You're a little ahead of yourself at the moment. "Big zero gravity moon steps" ~ friend's quote.
Personally, I think things should be done traditionally, but how often does a man know what you're thinking.
Perhaps you should think about moving in together before you even start planning to propose to him. But good on you for having the courage (:
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 June 2010):
Propose after he already turned you down? I think you're moving a little too quickly here. I would really slow down here. You're in an LDR, you're not really in a financially perfect situation, he's already turned you down and there is this ex hovering around in the background. Slow down.
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