A
female
age
30-35,
*ove-struckxo
writes:hi im 15 and i just found out i was pregnant. i know my options, abortion, adoption, or keeping it. i don't want to give my baby up for adoption because i dont think i could handle carrying it for 9 months and then giving it away but if i abort it then i will feel extremely guilty as its against my beliefs but it seems like an easy way out and i no i need to deal with this. i cant keep my baby because i cant properly support it right now, i dont have a job, and neither does my boyfriend, and i was wondering if its possible to put it in foster care until you get your life on track and can properly support it???
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 also look at this:
http://www.standupgirl.com/web/?gclid=CL245ZS3_5sCFZgU4wodhCMK9g
and this:
http://www.youngmommies.com/index.html
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (31 July 2009):
Re: Canada adopts - but she doesn't want to give her baby away. She just wants to complete her year of school so she isn't a complete drop-out.
Sweetie, what you don't realise yet, and what we should be telling you here (because we are here to give advice and help), is that your first year with your baby is not something you can give away. It is unique, will never come back again. And your baby needs you THE MOST in his or her first year. This is when the foundation of everything is laid down, including your love.
So, that is an element you can't play around with. You have to keep the baby with you and make your life work around him or her.
If you have parents or your boyfriend's parents, they could maybe help. I suspect you aren't looking to them, though, as you haven't mentioned them. Otherwise, you need to get in touch with support groups through your doctor and there MUST be support for teenage mothers still at school. You will need childcare in the day so you can go to school, I guess. A supportive family really is important so I hope you have one - even if it is grandparents, aunts, etc.
ALSO, if your boyfriend doesn't have a job at the moment, HE can stay home with the baby while YOU are at school.
Baby comes with from now on. You have to think of it like that. Just work calmly through all the support options so you have a network in place for when the baby is born. And forget fostering, adoption, etc. You and your boyfriend are this baby's parents. Think how important your parents were to you when you were a little girl. That is your role now. And it is perfectly possible to be a mom and still do something in the day - ie, school - with support.
xx
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 Have you ever heard of open adoption? That is a type of adoption where you choose the parents and what type of communication you will have after the child is born. That way the child will be raised in a supportive environment and you can still be involved in his/her life.
You can read more about it at http://www.canadaadopts.com/
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): keep your baby. he/she will come to mean more to you than any other person in the world. there is help out there for young people as yourself in these situations. if you place your child in foster care it can be very hard if near impossible to get it back. the heartache involved would be horrendous.
adoption ... can you live with the wondering if your child is safe? is it being treated right? how does it look? always it will be in your mind as a part of you will be missing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): The reason it has not been said, straight to the truth, is because it is said and done with and that is not the asvice she is looking for, as well as, lecturing her on protection is obviously not going to get her anywhere, now is it?
So there are no adults in your life, whatsoever who can help you? I just think there must be a better solution. The first year is so crucial. Children learn how to form relationships during that time. Without their mother's love, their ability to do so may be demeneted.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (30 July 2009):
i realise this probably isn't very helpful but if abortion is against your beliefs then surly so is under age sex!?it hasn't been said yet but someone should say you should have used precautions!having a baby is a huge responsibilty and it isn't something you can give away and pick it up at a more convenient time!! once it is born it is a human life and a baby needs a family! A baby is for the rest of your life from the day it is born, there is nothing wrong with abortion and it is now that you need to think what you want to be doing with the rest of your life.you say get the child once you have a job put who will look after it while you are at work? what kind of job will you get that will allow you to provide for the child when you will end up finishing school or college with no qualifications because you go straight to work to try and get you child back.you will be seperated in the time when you should be bonding.it is a better choice to decide either keep the baby (not put it into foster care until it is more CONVENIENT!)or have the abortion live the rest of your younth and plan a child for when you are ready and it will have a father who can also provide for you.remember you need to make this decision within the first 3 months!
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A
female
reader, mommytobe +, writes (30 July 2009):
i'm 17. Young as well. I'm 6 months pregnant. Adoption was my only other option besides keeping it when i first found out. But carrying the baby this far i fell in love with him already and don.t want to give him up for the world. I though i was mature enough to have sex. So i need to force myself to grow up and be mature enough to have the baby and take care of him. You know, i don't have any money what so ever. I have no job. I never have either. I just started college and have that to pay for as well as a child. There's plenty of support groups and programs for teen mom,s. Don't give up your baby darling.
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A
female
reader, Lolipop Gurl +, writes (30 July 2009):
 In foster care it's harder to get your child out! I was put in foster care for 3 years and my mom almost lost full custody me and my brother! If I was you I'd would find a good babysitter during school hours and then come home and get your baby and be a mom! But, really sometimes its hard to take care of a baby. Like when he/she has a tempature or something like that and he/she won't stop crying! So, I wouldn't put my child in foster care!
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A
female
reader, love-struckxo +, writes (30 July 2009):
love-struckxo is verified as being by the original poster of the question When my baby is born I will be sixteen years old. I was hoping that I could put my child in foster care until I was seventeen years old - that way I can finish my Grade nine. I'm suppose to be in Grade ten in the fall but I failed it due to personal problems that I carried with me during school and my education paid for it. I can't afford to fail it again - or else I will probably drop out and never go back. I currently quit my Job to due to stress and couldn't keep up with everything. My boyfriend is yet to find a job either.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (30 July 2009):
I think that when you have your baby in your arms, you won't care whether you're living in a shoe box ... or eating only toast for a year ... you won't want to give that little bundle of love and joy to anybody. And he or she will only want you.
I think instead you should focus on getting support from your family and the state. I'm sure it's there. Plan on giving it some time with the baby and seeing how it goes. If you find you can't cope, then people will help you. Don't give your baby away right at the start - you will always regret it. And you're right - abortion is a nightmare, and adoption is, too.
You sound v sensible and caring, and you've obviously thought everything through - but remember, the one factor you can't include because you haven't yet experienced it yet is the love and protectiveness you will feel towards your newborn. : )
xx Well done for being so strong - your baby will love you for it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): A lot of the poeple only do it for money and don't really care about the kids.. infants are so.. fragile and they need their mother's love and if you were to breast feed, no one can take your place.
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A
female
reader, Charlpop +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Yes. As long as your baby only goes into foster care and not up for adoption.
But I would think really hard about your decision. I've heard foster care isn't the best way to grow up, but it is your decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Honey what about your parents? Or an Aunt and Uncle? Foster homes are not always good.. I spent a number of years in them until i was 6.. they tend to be abusive. There has to be an easier way?
~Sy.
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