A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive known this girl in uni for a couple of years. She's the type of girl who would go out to clubs and what have you and prob make out with guys who hit on her if she's interested. I would say her looks are pretty decent, and she always dresses very well when she comes to uni and I noe guys will definitely look at her. Whenever she's in class with me she talks to me and hangs around me sometimes asking for advice on uni work and all that. She always says she enjoys my company whenever I'm in uni and when I have some problems she listens and vice versa. Sometimes I find her whining abit much and I tell her to stop being all over the place. Given the type of person that I've heard her to be (from friends) do you think she's using me to get things done in uni, coss I invited her to my 22nd and she didn't come, and I keep thinking that's prob coss she didn't want to, not because she couldnt.I could be described as your stereotypically defined "nice guy" but I do draw the line sometimes and I voice my opinion about people when I'm not happy about the way something is done.
View related questions:
university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. Not sure how to go about doing this. I feel like just asking her straight in the face cause she knows i can be honest with her if i wanted to be.
A
female
reader, wanwanzhong  +, writes (24 February 2011):
It sounds like you have a thing for her since you really care what she thinks.Well...I don't think she is using you to get her work done intentionally.She probably just sees you as a friend but not too close.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I only assume this because of what some of my friends have said about her. For eg she apparently talked to someone at the start of uni but after a while she just ignored him because she couldnt be bothered talking to him, or didnt feel like she needed to. Atm i am doing the second part of ur question pretty well because i like to help ppl (hence the nice guy stereotype) but recently ive decided that i only want to help if i want to help.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 I think maybe you are being a little paranoid here. Why being a well dressed social butterfly must necessarily make her a callous user ?
More probably, like she said, she enjoys occasionally talking to you and being in generic friendly terms ,but does not want to get closer than that and take things to a more personal level. Maybe she has noticed some interest from you and does not want to encourage it.
It could be either that she did not come to your party because she could not- or that she chose not to attend.
But I would not quite see this as "taking advantage "
The solution to your quandary is never to do for people more than you feel comfortable with, and never to do things waiting for something back, whether it be gratitude, attention or more.
Help her only if you want to help her and if you like to help her, - and the moment it gets to be too much, then don't.
In this way nobody feel pressured and nobody feels exploited.
...............................
A
female
reader, shortone1  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 sounds like she could have came to ur birthday if she wanted. but chose not too.
id say she usin you. but i dont know 4 sure until i see whats going on.
its hard to say. sorry i couldnt help you farther.
...............................
|
