A
female
age
36-40,
*rou frou
writes:I have an attractive, single friend (we worked together last summer and have kept in touch) who I get on with like a house on fire. I'm pretty smitten and I get the vibe that he's attracted to me too. Only problem is I'm 23 and he's 38, and we're from different countries. When I last saw him, he stayed at my house till 3am talking. He took me out for dinner, but didn't make a move on me. While we were talking, he was kind of stroking my leg, and when he went, instead of giving him a kiss on the cheek I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Then he went home. I'm confused but I think maybe he likes me but is bothered by the age gap? I'm considering calling him up and jumping on him, but don't want to spoil our friendship.
View related questions:
different countries, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, frou frou +, writes (1 July 2011):
frou frou is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your replies, everyone, loads of help! Babygirl - actually, I'm the one living in a different country (Spain), and he's a local boy. Which I actually really like - I feel like we learn a lot from each other, but our cultures aren't so different that we can't relate to each other, and I've been here for a while and am pretty permanent here, so this isn't some holiday fling or anything like that. Although the local community would probably freak out a bit if anything did happen - he is respected pillar of the community, whereas I am not only much younger but Not From These Parts. We speak each other's languages as well, sometimes both in the same sentence. And it's a good question whether or not I'd want anything serious - the honest truth is that I've thought about it, and I don't know. Maybe I would, but it's not something I could guarantee him, either. I think actually in all this I'm more worried about messing him around than getting rejected - what if we were together for five years, and then I decided it was never going to work? I would only be 28 and still have loads of time to settle down, but he would be 43. And I am a bit worried about being rejected, if I'm honest - what if he thinks I'm just some idiot girl with a crush? But then the other part of me thinks that these are big questions to think about when nothing's really happened, and I should just act on impulse...No, no contact yet :( but I was away last weekend, and he's finishing his PhD, so both pretty busy. We always seem to have been this way - we go for weeks with no contact, and then go out for a coffee and end up having so much fun we spend 14 hours together. Perhaps an indication of uncertainty on both sides.I can't decide what to make of the situation. In all probability, neither can he.Thank you loads for all your help, guys! Not many of my friends here speak English and sometimes I miss it... sorry about the mega long response as well, and thank you very much for reading.
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (30 June 2011):
i would call him and ask him to come round talk to him say you have feelings for him and you were just wondering how he felt about you personally i wouldnt jump on him he may just think you want sex good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 It is very likely that he is hesitating because of the age gap. Most guys who are n their late 30's don't assume a flirtatious woman in her early twenties is interested in a relationship. And from what you have said, I am not sure you are necessarily interested in a relationship? You seem to be describing a lot of sexual attraction, and intensity of a physical nature. He may even be worried that you are more interested in a fling than a relationship, and at his age he may be more focused on the long term. The interaction you have described would come across to me as someone being interested in...jumping on me. :-)Have you considered whether you would want to be in a serious relationship with him? He may very well appreciate the friendship enough to carefully consider before jumping into anything, especially if it is just going to be a mostly physical thing.
...............................
A
female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Hello frou frou, Forgive me I'm a little confused...do you live in different countries or is his origin from a different country?Usually when a guy touches a lady's leg that means he wants her. Perhaps he was trying to be a gentleman when he didn't make a move on you?Have you been in contact since?
...............................
|
