A  ,
*elsi
writes:Female vs Female relationship. I am in love with my best friend. We are seperated by about 1300 miles. She knows how I feel as I have told her. She is unhappily married (no lectures please) anyway I am convinced she feels the same way about me even though back in Jan. she denied it. My friends agree that based on the things she has said to me she surely feels the same about me as I feel about her. Anyway a week ago I told her I got a female housemate to help out with the work load and finances. Since I have told her about the housemate she seems to be avoiding me and just sending me very short emails but still signing off on them "LOVE and MISS YOU!!!" Is it possible she is jeoulous?? What do you suppose is going on?? Any advice would be great!! Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): couls she be anymore jealous my ex girlfriend was the same...yu need to tell her if you want too be wit hher that it's just a friend helping nothing more
A
reader, kelsi +, writes (17 July 2007):
kelsi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe last email I sent my friend I asked her if something was wrong and that things seemed to have changed since the previous weekend. (When I informed her of my housemate) I didn't bring the housemate issue up in my email though. I asked her if I had done something or said something wrong. Her partial response was as follows: "nothing has changed from last wk. you read more into things , things that are not there! So stop it!!!!! Love and Miss Ya!" It appears she has put it back onto me again.
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female
reader, Cyg79 +, writes (16 July 2007):
 There are always possibilities and hope. I guess the only thing you can do is decided what you want out of a relationship. You can only do so much, but at some point the responsibility falls onto her. You could do everything possible but if she is not willing to make a commitment then the commitment you make to her is just self sacrificing.
If she is avoiding you because you have a roommate now, that sounds like a guilt game more then jealousy.
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reader, kelsi +, writes (16 July 2007):
kelsi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering. In my way of thinking I would think that if she is jeoulous and really is in love with me she would try to get closer to me, not try to push me away and get farther apart. I know she has very low self-esteem, she has told me that, and I am trying to be understanding and figure this out.
The thought that her husband might be catching on is a possiblitly that I have thought of.
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female
reader, stina +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Hi there Kelsi,
Given what you've said, I do think that she is jealous. But at the same time I think it's unfair that she is acting this way with you. She knows how you feel about her and if she's really that unhappy in her relationship, then she should file for divorce.
Once she's single, she could move back and be with you. Until then, she really has no space to avoid you and act short. (If it's too much for her to handle, then she should tell you her feelings and then cut all contact if that's what she wants to do. This act of hers is messing around with your emotions.)
And besides, how does she think you feel? Probably worse - she is *married* afterall. There's far more for you to be jealous over and you don't seem like you're being a jerk to her about her current situation.
If you really want to know what the deal is, then I suggest asking her what's up. That's the only way you're going to get the truth. If she says that things are fine, then I would tell her that you'd appreciate if she stop avoiding you then, because it's making you feel like something's wrong. (BTW - are you sure she's not avoiding you, etc because her husband is catching on?)
And I know you said no lectures, and this isn't really a lecture but more of something to think about if you really love her - stop telling her how you feel (if you still do that). It's probably paving the way for her to create feelings toward you when there may have been none to begin with. In turn, it may keep the relationship between you two strained and sexually frustrated. Just something to think about.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 well i think she is just trying to make you feel bad and it seems to be working. just please be careful and don't get with someone who is married how about finding some one else. good luck xxx
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Hi Kelsi,
So she is still playing games with you, now she is trying to make you feel guilty about getting a house mate, i really hop that before too long you will see exactly what she is doing to you.
Ignore the emails that she sends you and only reply when she sends something nice or apologises for the previous ones.
Take care.xx.
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