A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiA few months ago I was betrayed by my (female) best friend in the worst way that she knew how. We have always hung around as a 3, and she knew that I was a bit obsessed with the guy that we hang around with. We had a thing a while ago, but he ended it saying that he would rather be my friend long term than my boyfriend short term. However, since that happened he has been leading me on which is why I couldn't get over him. (I don't know if this was on purpose or if he just enjoyed the attention..?) Anyway, the more time I spent with him the worst I got, and the girl knew how much it was cutting me up inside.Then we booked a course to go on, just the three of us, but i pulled out last minute for money reasons. I told her how i felt insecure that they would come back being better friends with each other than they were with me and she told me that i was being silly and that could never happen.But 2 weeks later and they had started dating. She knew all of my insecurities and how much it would hurt me and she did it anyway. I couldn't believe that someone I trusted so much could deliberately hurt me so much. But I miss both of them, I have lost both my best friends thru no fault of my own. I told her everything is forgiven because I think its a shame when you get on so well with someone to lose that.I know another friend thinks I am being pathetic for forgiving her so easily. I believe in either forgiving completely or not at all. So should I have more self respect and move on with my life and make new friends? or should I forgive her completely and have my best friend back?--Chloe
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (18 July 2009):
 There's forgiveness, and there's trust. She betrayed your trust, and that's something that can't be repaired overnight.
I'm not the most trusting soul, and with good reason.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHuh those weren't the answers I was hoping for. I was kind of hoping you'd all say that you can't help matters of the heart and that best friends shouldn't fall out over boys. But you are all right and I will definitely take your advice and have more dignity and cut her out of my life
Thanks :)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (17 July 2009):
 I agree with moralcrusader: she's no friend.
Forgiving is good, not just from a moral point of view, but from a practical one. The anger and the pain go away and you feel better about yourself.
"Forgiving easily" here might mean that you need a friend no matter what she does to you. You need someone to trust, someone who will share with you. Well, she is not that person. Find someone else, and do not look for this person again. If you do, it will be as if you told her that she can do anything to you and you won't react.
Stay away from the guy, as well. He did you no harm, but you loved him and you need to keep your distance to heal. And find other people.
This kind of things will continue to happen everytime. Don't go bitter. Be more careful who you trust, and be happy.
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A
female
reader, xcharlottex +, writes (17 July 2009):
I wouldn't forgive a girl like that.
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A
female
reader, Hannah-Kimberley +, writes (17 July 2009):
Hi,
Well clearly this girl isn't you friend at all if she understood how you felt but continued with seeing the guy anyway. By the sounds of things she had a thing for this guy before they went on the course, as she was happy to leave with him after you told her how you felt about it. As for forgiving her, nobody can decide that but you. But if she has betrayed you once who says she wont do it again ?? Try finding another group of friends to spend time with too. Good luck (:
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