A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i recently started distancing myself from my bf of 2 years as we were having a lot of problems(no intimacy for 6 months been the main problem+talking/flirting to girls online i suspected)..Plus told him after a month of hardly seeing him i wanted to call it a day...i was expecting at least something after 2 years of dating,maybe him suggesting we could talk it through or try again but hes just accepted it. Plus given up.I dont understand it..maybe suspecting he's got someone else lined up?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 December 2016):
 It does sound like he lost interest in you a long time ago. That is probably why he did not try and win you back. Remember that you broke up with him for a reason and stick to that.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 December 2016):
 Why are you surprised ?
You may have been together 2 years in total, but if it is 6 months that you had no sexual intimacy, AND he was flirting with other girls , AND you could not convince him to see you in person in one month, is pretty obvious that , for whatever reason, some other woman or just a change of heart, he was already checking out from your relationship, he ha already lost interest sice a while.
He may be a passive aggressive type that wanted to leave to you the initiative to break up, as it punctually happened ; or he is one who does not leave a relationship , although a bit unfulfilling, unless something really bad or dramatical happens ( abuse, cheating... ) - anyway he acted already like someone who does not really care a lot, so probably , by breaking up... you just did the dirty work for him, and saved him face, troublke and arguments. Now he can be the guy who " respects your decision ".
I guess you did not really wanted to break yp at all, you just wanted to shake him up, scare him into action. But , this, as you can see, can very possibly backfire.
It's always better say what you mean and mean what you say.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 December 2016):
 Looks to me like the relationship had run its course and you had BOTH given up on it. You were the one to distance yourself so why are you now surprised that he just accepted it? Were you hoping he would beg you not to end the relationship? You have to be pretty sure of your ground to play that card successfully.
It doesn't really matter WHY he accepted it. He MAY have someone else lined up. On the other hand he may just not see any point in wasting more time on a relationship which is already dead in the water.
Draw a line under this episode of your life, wish him well and move on. You two were just obviously not meant to be together.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2016): "i was expecting at least something after 2 years of dating,maybe him suggesting we could talk it through or try again but hes just accepted it. Plus given up."He can't read your mind. If you wanted to talk it through or try again then you should have been the one to suggest it to him. Instead your ego and vanity led you to believe that the thought of losing you would be too much to bear and he'd come crawling back and promise you anything. As you now know, you were mistaken. "I dont understand it.."What do you not understand. You told him you wanted to break up and and he took you at your word. "maybe suspecting he's got someone else lined up??"Whether he has or not is none of your business. YOU broke up with him.Lesson: Don't issue ultimatums unless you're prepared to face the consequences.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (9 December 2016):
It's extremely hard when we have invested 2years, sometimes even 2 months into something we have felt at one time was worth while . We cling to the hope . To the idea that if we hang in there it will get better thats normal psychology . However; much you know deep down that it's over you want it to work . It's natural to want your other half to fight for you and to be devastated; a mess to think of life without you .
However you answered why yourself .. you have known for a while .. that for a while he's been not as active .. and sweetie you deserve more . Who wants crumbs .. you deserve diamonds . Someone who will walk over burning coals of fire . You want what you give . And he isn't giving it .
So wipe your tears and you will cry a little .. get your friends together and get out there mixing .. your not gonna find anyone just yet .. your gonna party .laugh . Be sweet have fun and probably have a cry .. It will take time but your heart will mend . You will see sunshine when there is only dullness .. just not yet .
2 years is a long time to be invested .give yourself at least 4 months from now to be feeling more like you and you may sit back and think .. what was I thinking .. why was I wasting myself crying over him .. until then .. you have us .. come and vent . Whenever you need .
Take care
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (9 December 2016):
It's extremely hard when we have invested 2years, sometimes even 2 months into something we have felt at one time was worth while . We cling to the hope . To the idea that if we hang in there it will get better thats normal psychology . However; much you know deep down that it's over you want it to work .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 EDIT
He cold have someone else lined up....
Should have been:
He COULD have had someone else lined up.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 December 2016):
He cold have someone else lined up, he could have felt like you did that it wasn't working out. He might have been biding his time hoping YOU would be the one to end it.
If you didn't WANT to break up you shouldn't have suggested it. You should have lead with a " I think we need to sit down and talk". He called your bluff and said OK it's over.
Either way, it's over - he doesn't seem like he was a great BF or that he cared deeply, so maybe just accept it and work on moving on? Why waste any more time on this guy.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (9 December 2016):
 You gave up by suggesting you break up. Sure, it would be nice if he'd fought to stay together, but you didn't either. You're not teenagers, but you played a mind game and it backfired.
Time to move on, I'm afraid. In future, don't suggest a break up, if you don't mean it.
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