A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear aunts,I have a gf who i love. I'm straight but a like girls to play with my arse. I just like the sensation. I'm afraid if i ask my gf to try a dildo or a strap on on me will make me less desirable for her.What do you think?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 December 2016):
 Ask her and you will have your answer. It is nothing to be ashamed off. Let us know how you get on!
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (11 December 2016):
 Almost all guys I've known like having this done at least on some level, it definitely does not make you gay.
I would imagine most women would just want to know what you like! If you're nervous she'll reject the idea you should start small, like a small toy first before jumping straight to a strap on.
Of course, if says she's not interested you should respect that, but you should feel comfortable asking.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2016): Just wanted to chime in and say that I am a straight 26-year-old woman, I don't consider myself particularly kinky, but I would be happy to engage in something like this if my partner asked. Sexual satisfaction is important to me (for both of us). I would be open to using a strap on or whatever.
It could be a good opportunity for you BOTH to explore anal play...maybe she's curious about it, too ;)
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A
male
reader, lov2dancecpl +, writes (11 December 2016):
Just about all women I had sex with don't mind playing with my ass at all, few have used strapon on me it's very empowering for them many women enjoy control over a man. Play it out with you girl friend when she plays with you hole show her how much you enjoy it moan and wiggle a lot you'll see her reaction then bring in toys after a while.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 December 2016):
 I think it depends on how open and experimental your girlfriend is. If she's the judgemental type, then it could make you less attractive to her. If she's the open and embracing type, I think she might be ok with it. If she's the experimental type, I think she'd love to try.
I don't think you're asking for too much, asking is allowed. It different if you wanted to do anal on her, because it can hurt. And sex should never hurt. But you're not asking her to do anything that would be uncomfortable for her, you're asking something that could be pleasurable for you both, or at least for you, while it wouldn't hurt her in any way.
Before you move on to a strap on, you and her could try to use other smaller toys, and then see how comfortable she is with it? Butt-plugs etc. If she enjoys that then I think you can ask for more, and just see how she reacts and if she enjoys it as well. It needs to be something she gets some satisfaction out of as well. Being the one who penetrates can often feel very unnatural to a woman, so not all will be comfortable with it.
And yes, I do fully agree with you, none of this makes you gay. Not in the slightest. Many heterosexual men love to play with their butt, it's a place that can bring great sexual satisfaction to a man, regardless of his sexual orientation. I know from talking to men, also I have worked at a hospital ward where some of the patients were men who needed help with removing objects from their butt. All married to women.... And I wish they had the sense to do as you, and use proper equipment like a strap on or a dildo. Don't ever try what these men did, that had them ending up in hospital to get the apples and oranges removed. Use proper sex-toys for sex games, and leave fruit alone.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 December 2016):
 Did the other girls find you less desirable for asking ?
I mean, you say you have previous experiences in this sense, and, unless you are so lucky that all of them just took the initiative, - improbable,- then you must have hinted/ said / askem them for anal play.
Why not this time too ? What makes this time different from the past ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2016): I'm gay and love some strap-on action both ways. Many of my straight female friends who I've discussed this with have admitted that they either have or would like to do this to their partners. It can be empowering for a woman! It's definitely more common than people think.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 December 2016):
 I don't consider your request as something that says that you're bisexual! In fact, there are some natural benefits for those who like prostate massage or milking through stimulating the prostate through the anus and rectum. Many guys experience sexual stimulation while this happens.
You can ask her! I can't answer for her prejudices on the matter, but rather than just going to strap-on or dildos right away, have you thought about asking her to have intercourse while you wear a butt plug? That way, your prostate gets the stimulation, and it may be a good set of "training wheels" for her to get familiar with ass play.
You don't have latent gay tendencies to be turned on by this. You simply want to be adventurous and try something new, which I always commend as long as both parties are willing and non-pressured! If she expresses hesitation, don't push her. Explain WHY you want to try it rather than just "It'll excite me!". Clinically speaking, not many guys can get off on this sort of stimulation just like many women don't achieve orgasm through intercourse.
Tell her that in some guys, there's an erogenous zone inside the rectum/anus that acts a LOT like the G-spot in a woman, that when stimulated by a dildo, fingers, strap-on, or butt plug, can cause a really deep and amazing orgasm. In very rare situations, prostate massage has been known to cause multiple orgasms, but it's *very* rare and not usually something beginners play.
In asking her, you may want to come to the table with something SHE may really go for, like extended cunnilingus or waterplay or something like that, showing that you're not just looking to play out a fantasy for your own gratification, but you want to blow her mind just as much!
Give it time, but I think it's worth it to ask, and to explain what you hope will happen!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 December 2016):
 Most of my male partners have enjoyed having their ass stimulated. I even have used a strap on for them.
I see no problems with it.
You can ask
she can say yes in which case have at it
if she says NO... then you drop it
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 I'm surprised by the answers that suggest it means you're bisexual or need to use a trans woman because she has a penis.
Many men like anal sex on themselves, it doesn't mean they want actual penises near them.
You can absolutely ask, but you also have to be understanding if she doesn't want to. Some women would be okay doing it and some wouldn't.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 December 2016):
 I think it's reasonable to ASK, and it's REASONABLE if she declines.
Maybe talk about fantasies together? About what you would like to try WITH her? Ask what SHE would like to try with you?
I agree that IF she is prudish, it might be a total no-go even before asking and can make things a little awkward afterwards.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (9 December 2016):
 Unless she's unusually squeamish or closed-minded when it comes to sex, I don't think there's anything wrong with *asking* about this. That said, please do respect her decision if you ask and she isn't interested.
Good luck and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 Your fears are likely justified. That sounds too kinky for the average person. My advice would be to do a new self evaluation to decide once and for all if you are bi or straight. If you are confused just imagine how she'd feel to be asked to be a surrogate male in a traditionally female role. Maybe a time apart is needed for you to "find yourself" she's an innocent bystander in your quest to find out if you are gay or straight. Figure it out or join the "chicks with dicks" club. Don't give her trauma.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2016): I cant imagine your girlfriend being happy to plough your field unless you have a transgender female who would have the necessary bits and the desire to do so.
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