A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Back at the beginning of february my boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me. He then suggested that we continue for the next two weeks till it was a year. Stupidly I agreed to this even though I knew it would only hurt more, I just would have done anything for a bit more time with him. Anyway, I got hurt majorly during those two weeks and even though we'd agreed to be friends after it all I told him that i needed distance from him and completely stopped speaking to him.Before we broke up he'd been invited to my mum's 50th and on the day we ended I told him he was still welcome to come as my friend if he wanted to. He did come and I had a nice night with him there, but as soon as i got home I got upset because despite it being nice it was hard just being friends.The next day he told me he'd been thinking and long story short within a few days we'd agreed to get back together, but when he went to ask I told him not to and to do it properly. Despite the fact we weren't officially together we were acting like we were when we were together. Eventually I told him this was weird for me and that I wanted to be actually together before we acted like it. He told me he was still thinking about whether it's the right idea to get back together even though i thought we'd already agreed we would. He told me he'd come to a decision and that I'd like it.He still hasn't told me what the decision is or asked me to be together again. It also feels like he's making very little effort.Should I stop kidding myself?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): How cruel of him. It sounds as if he is weaning himself off you gradually because he does not have what it takes to end it cleanly and walk away. It is probably flattering his ego too, having you waiting around, hoping he will have you back again.
Have a good think about things and get your pride fired up then tell him where to go. Even if you did get back with him, you would always be worried he would do this sort of thing to you again. How miserable would that be?!
He is making no effort with you and stringing you along because he is a coward. Be bold and do what he is not man enough to do. Tell him straight and walk away with your head held high. Because if he has to `think` about being with you after a year together, then he clearly does not deserve you! It will be hard for you for a while but not as hard as being with someone who treats you unkindly and might do this to you again a few months down the line. Make the break yourself and leave with your pride intact. He really doesnt deserve you.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (11 April 2013):
 He's just messing you around, dear. Take it into your own hands and DUMP him once and forever!
And - sorry you're having so much hurt over this. He's not - it's not - worth it!
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (11 April 2013):
 Honey you are being played, dump his sorry ass and move on. He is considering other prospects and you are his fall back plan. It hurts like hell but dont let him treat you like yesterdays garbage.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 April 2013):
 Right now he still have you around, so he doesn't have much incentive to "ask" you to be his GF again, since you both act like you ARE together.
I can't see why you should put your life on hold while he waits to "figure" out what he wants. Either he WANTS to be with you or he doesn't. Right now he is just stringing you along.
I would tell him to shot or get off the pot.
If he can't I would stop seeing him and I wouldn't be "friends" either. That rarely works when there have been/ and still is a lot of emotions going on.
So I suggest YOU decide how long you are willing to wait, not him.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 April 2013):
 So this all happened at the beginning of February right? And its now mid April - so he's had at least 6 weeks to decide what he wants to do, yet he still cant make his mind up? Time to make his mind up for him and let go.
Tell him you are not waiting for him anymore, either he wants to be with you or he doesnt. If he still doesnt make a decision, then tell him its over and you cannot remain friends, and ask him not to contact you anymore. Delete his phone number, delete him on Facebook....get him out of your life so you can start to move on.
If he really cared for you he wouldnt keep you in limbo like this, chances are he is just waiting to see if any other girls come along and you are just his back-up option in case nothing better comes along.
Dont allow him to treat you like this, you deserve better. Tell him that he has to make a decision today, or you are moving on.
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