A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The other day at work, I met a guy (not affiliated with my place of work) who seemed very friendly and genuinely nice (and cute, too!) After a little bit of talking, he asked me out on a date, to which I declined and stated that I had a boyfriend of five years. Feeling bad about letting him down, I said, "well, we can hangout," and then he gave me his number (I didn't give mine because I didn't feel right about it.)I told my boyfriend when I got out of work, but he's not much of the jealous type. Anyway, I was wondering if it is acceptable to hangout with this new guy, even though I know he is interested in me. I don't want to unleash a Pandora's Box, but it would be nice to make a new friend.Thoughts?
View related questions:
at work, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Eilish  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 There is nothing wrong with females and males being friends.
I have a lot of male friends, which my boyfriend doesn't like, but I get on with males more than females. So he has to accept it.
It's not like you accepted a date with this guy. You clearly told him you were in a relationship. You have done nothing wrong.
However, you have to see it from this guys view. If he asked you on a date then he is obviously interested in you? Just don't get his hopes up. When you hang out talk about your boyfriend or clearly state how well your relationship is going just as a casual reminder that you aren't looking for anything more than friendship.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 May 2011):
 I think it would be pointless and could lead to more which would cause you to be unfaithful. The guy asked you out because he's attracted to you. He's not one of your girlfriends you can do facials on and go shopping. He's looking for more. If you show up to hang out he'll misread the signals and you will quickly get in over your head. Plus it'll send him a message that you might be willing to cheat on your b/f, otherwise why would you come over to hang out? You can do that with your girlfriends and frankly you'd be better off with them instead. Don't go there. It's a recipe for disaster.
...............................
A
male
reader, PotF Fan +, writes (1 May 2011):
 There is nothing wrong with it at all
as long as you, your boyfriend and your new friend all know that this is just a friendship then there is no problem with it
if ur boyfriend is not the jealous type then he shouldnt have any problem with it
but if he ever does feel uncomfortable then stop hanging out with this friend
...............................
A
female
reader, Zandra +, writes (1 May 2011):
 There is nothing wrong with being friends, but its best to make it really clear to him thats all you can be. Your boyfriend seems to trust you, do you trust yourself? If so there isn't really a problem.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): in my opinion, if i knew someone liked me and expressed interest in me, i wouldn't entertain the idea of hanging out with them just out of respect for the person i'm with. and also, honestly, you may have given this guy the wrong idea. if he's interested in you, he's possibly looking at the fact that you let him give you his number despite having a boyfriend as an indicator that you may still go for him. i just wouldn't pursue this relationship. it seems to me that it could only do damage to your relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (1 May 2011):
My gut tells me that it's a bad idea. I've witnessed too many bad things come from "friendships" like these. In the end, someone usually gets hurt. If you do really want to hang out with him, I suggest not doing it one on one. Wait until its a group thing and simply invite him along. Your boyfriend doesn't have to be present, but other people should.
You don't want to lead him on, it will only suck more for him later.
...............................
A
male
reader, MyButtHurts +, writes (1 May 2011):
You're not married. Why women equate being a girlfriend is the moral equivalent of being a wife is beyond me.
...............................
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (1 May 2011):
This guy asked you on a date. So he fancies you as a girlfriend (or a friend with benefits) more than a friend. And telling him you can hang out could lead him to think you are really interested in him too.Whether it's wrong or not. Well, that depends on your own moral. In my own opinion your interest in this guy goes further than "not letting him down". Maybe you want to be with a guy sexually interested in you, which isn't your boyfriend. What do you think?
...............................
|
